Small Eternities
by Flower of the Flame
Summary: Whatever happened to a certain priest who "became reborn," and couldn't help but hold onto his humanity? And, a certain doctor, who keeps trying to pick up the pieces that they left behind? BL/Semi AU/Post-Series/Potential Spoilers
1. Ozaki Toshio Chapter 1: Halcyon

**A/N: So, I'm back. This is a Toshio/Seishin, and it will be rated up in the future.**

**Editing credit goes to Sandrine Georges. She's a goddess, no seriously.**

**Mmmm... This will probably switch third-person perspectives like Shiki...**

**And, I did take some liberties with the story, or rather, the pre-story. But, that will come later.**

**As always Shiki belongs to higher powers. And, reviews are love. **

** Written to songs about how 'yesterday was better'**

* * *

The sky was blue. An entire universe to explore. But he only had one lifetime to look for it. In retrospect, he hadn't lost sight of the reason for wanting it. He tucked that away in the back of his mind, now. And, even the desire seemed empty.

A dog-eared letter. It had just two words printed on it: _Happy Birthday. _The first had been done with a kanji character, the second in simple hiragana. No return address. It had arrived in time. Of course it had. On the eve of his thirty-sixth birthday. It had come with a gift that could have been personal, if he tried to imagine it. A small maple-leaf bookmark. No doubt, hand-made. It was in the pocket with his cigarettes.

He took out a cigarette, savoring the fact that it had come from the front of a tuxedo. He had lain off in the recent years, beginning to feel discomfort from his habit. He reclined. It wasn't a comfortable place; a simple park bench, in a mid-way town called Duluth. The doctor himself had speculated that it was a way-point between two bigger places. A town filled with people with no real destination.

It wasn't here that he had expected to find the other man. But, the more he thought on it, the more appropriate it seemed. He examined the letter once again. The letter was made out to a certain _Toshio Ozaki. _

He was not the man he had been four years ago. He seemed hollow inside. Fake smiles, blinding lights, intoxicating drinks. He was still human. He was only human. A human flitting from job to job, at that.

He blew a plume of smoke upward. Two hours until the train. A 'plane had brought him to New York, then a train from New York to Duluth. His destination was some supposedly humanitarian hospital. At least, that was what he told himself.

Medicine had become slightly more than an empty frivolity. A hospital called 'Mayoclinic,' just as empty as the rest. It didn't matter… _No. It really doesn't. _The wrinkled tuxedo made him seem even more out of place.

In the years that passed, not much had changed. Most survivors had been trying to cope with daily life. Some lived in the mammoth carcass that Sotoba left behind, amidst charred wreckage and piles of ash. The doctor himself let the village slip away from his mind. It was better off dead. But the memories persisted, and so he was looking for a man who he knew to be alive.

And that fleeting hope had brought him across an ocean. He ignored the minor details as he contemplated his quandary—Seishin wouldn't mind being reunited; he was simply convinced otherwise. He had discovered a nest of Shiki in Seoul two years prior. Of course it wasn't as large as the attempted takeover of the city of Sotoba, but he found it curious. The humans knew. They didn't care.

He would have missed it, being as engrossed in his thoughts as he was. He peered out over the harbor intermittently, watching the sun hover over its double in the lake, unperturbed. Occasionally, a stray ripple skimmed the surface of the water and scattered the slivers of light. They danced around the surface, straying from the original alignment, but only momentarily.

"Interesting…" He reflected emptily. He raised his wrist to eye-level. In examination, an old, charred watch took precedence over his hand. It wasn't his watch. It was the only remaining thing from Sotoba. He was surprised to have found it. It was nestled beneath the remnants of a couch, barely touched by the fire.

It was a half-past twelve. He impatiently tapped the face of the watch, trying to hurry time along. He stood up, stretched, and then reseated himself on the bench, this time facing westward towards the jogging trail instead of north. He saw a glimpse of it, platinum-blonde hair that extended midway to the ear, pentagonal spectacles, and porcelain skin. He rubbed his eyes. It was a phantasm. A ghost walking a dog. _He has a dog now. _He was still thirty-two.

After a brief hesitation, Toshio began to trail him. Keeping a distance, occasionally checking the surroundings, maintaining a steady pace. He hadn't realized that the other man had noticed until he found himself cornered, facing a wall of graffiti. He was underneath a busy intersection—he didn't notice until it was too late.

He felt a clammy hand clamped over his mouth and faintly registered the din of barking in the distance. He tried to struggle away, but the grip was firm. He cast a glance skyward. There would still be enough light. It wasn't quite dark enough.

"Good Afternoon." An eerily distinct line of unbroken English.

"Mmmmffffdddfff."

"Oh. Sorry. I…" The smaller man let go.

"…Your English seems to have improved." Toshio dusted himself off, smoothing wrinkles from his suit.

"…Yeah…"

"Is that just it?"

"…I didn't think you… Toshio… Let it go."

"Let what go?"

"This entire thing."

"Honestly?" The doctor pulled out a second cigarette, only to have it snatched away by his companion. "Seishin, you haven't changed… Still sending the same things, talking the same way… No… You've been this way for a long time…"

"Toshio… Just… Go home… Please."

"I spend four years hunting for you… And, you tell me to walk away?"

Seishin gave him a curt nod. "It's better to let it all fade away. Eventually, it'll be like that…"

"Hardly likely. You can't let go of the past yourself. The things I get on my birthday are proof enough. Most of the other survivors can't go backward." He gave Seishin a quick scan. Temple robes had been long-since replaced by dark-colored jeans and a casual t-shirt. His wiry frame remained the same, but the hollowness in his eyes had gone. He was looking at a bolder Seishin. The grip had been indicative of this much.

He turned his focus to the highway. The cars passed by, the occasional driver tossing something out of the vehicle. "Great spot…" He muttered. He had forgotten how perceptive the former monk was.

"Sorry. I had to choose something like this… I expected a stake…"

"You think I would have…?"

"You did to Kyouko."

"Nnnn… Yeah… But, she was… You know…" The doctor shrugged sheepishly. He couldn't feel any remorse in it.

"Have you had lunch yet?"

"One day. I'll be gone in the morning."

"… Why?"

"I've been looking."

"For what?"

"I was hoping that you could tell me." He bit down on his own cigarette, snuffing out the embers before discarding it on a swath of dirt. He waited for Seishin's approval. He didn't intend to let Seishin get away. Not after four years.

After a moment of thoughtful silence, Seishin nodded. He did not motion to follow. It was assumed. Even the dog knew it. Toshio rebuked himself for not being perceptive enough—the dog was not wearing a leash. He followed, keeping an even pace, examining the ends of his shoes for grass stains, or otherwise. He still did have a job interview to go through with.

"I have to return an item first."

The doctor was slightly disappointed. He had anticipated the meeting to turn out differently. More like the excursions of their youth. Seishin seemed to have returned to that state, his hair had even adopted an almost-unnoticeable curl at the base. He remembered the times they sat in the church, legs meeting at the feet, talking about the future they planned to have. Seishin always managed to dodge the marriage question. He'd look elsewhere, and answer indirectly. Usually an _'I don't know…' _or sometimes _'I'll figure it out later'_. It never quite made sense.

He couldn't entirely place his displeasure. Seishin was still thirty-two. It was disconcerting but not the main reason for the slight repulsion he felt. There were always closed doors in Sotoba. He knew that now. Demons in distant daydreams, places where the sunlight didn't stay for long. Just enough, a flutter of a heart, the deep beating of wings in the sunset, and the steady pounding of the waves on the beach. He knew that now. _He knew that now. _

They walked for a bit. Toshio had to prompt Seishin, occasionally questioning the vicinity, certain foliage, and his own life. Seishin gave him insubstantial answers. He hadn't expected more… He had just wanted it. Something that the other man would no longer give him.

"Seishin…"

"Mm…?"

"How long have you been living here?"

"Three years."

"And before that?"

"Mizobe for three months, two in Poland, and the rest in England"

"Aah." Toshio nodded thoughtfully, seeming to savor the answers. They didn't provide any more insights than he had before.

"How long do you intend to stay?"

"… Dunno."

Toshio's lame-duck answer hung in the air, repressed by the thick atmosphere. He envisioned himself on the bench of the gazebo, looking out at the field, realizing that the Ozaki house was held up by paper, the village by sand.

The sand was firm, the paper weak. So the house folded.

Seishin had finally led him up a street, dog nipping at his heels. He didn't seem to mind. Seishin motioned for Toshio to wait. He carefully surveyed the house, same as all the rest—blue trim on cream paint. Not entirely unattractive. Very cookie-cutter. He could see now, why Seishin picked such a place. If he wished, he could disappear.

Toshio observed as the dog trotted from Seishin to the door. Some woman answered. She greeted him in a familiar way, a routine that was almost too painful to watch. He picked out bits of the conversation.

"How are you doing?"

"Ah. Fairly well. And you?"

"Good, thanks for this favor."

"No problem."

"Mmm… Who is that? A friend of yours?"

"Yeah. Visiting from Japan."

"Why is he dressed so nicely?"

"Job interview."

Toshio shuddered at the last answer. How had Seishin known? He checked his watch again. He had missed the train. He shrugged. He'd catch the bus, then. Or get a taxi. He spent a few moments to appraise the neighborhood. He couldn't find anything different about it then gave up the notion.

"Sorry it took so long."

"Hm?"

"Oh. With Ms. Wu."

"Ms. Wu?"

"That's her name. She's an acquaintance"

"How did you know I was here for an interview?" Toshio changed the subject abruptly. He didn't care for Ms. Wu.

"No idea." Seishin shrugged "I just thought… The outfit…"

"Oh."

"…"

"Yeah. You were right."

"…"

"Not curious enough?"

"It's just… I… Never mind."

"No. What was it?"

"Nothing. Just… Let's go have lunch."

"You wouldn't have brought it up if it was nothing," Toshio mumbled to himself. Seishin pretended not to hear. He didn't see any necessity to press onward though. Even if Seishin was bolder, he wasn't a lion. He still had a timidity clinging to him. Toshio suspected that he hadn't killed yet. No. He couldn't have.

"Is this fine?"

"What?"

"This café. Is it okay?"

"Yeah. It should be."

"I apologize… I don't think you'll be allowed inside my house…"

"I already said it was okay, Seishin."

"…"

It was a small Japanese-style crêpe café. Toshio immediately noticed that most people knew Seishin. Casual questions about his day came from all sides. He remained silent, wearing the same calculated smile. _He should be happier. _He seated himself at the window table. There were faint droplets of rain. Liquid silver running down the windowpanes. A cold memory resurfaced.

"Toshio… Is something wrong?"

"No. Just… No."

"Where are you looking for work?"

"Invited. Not looking. I don't suppose they'd have it in the papers…"

"Sunako reads them more than I do."

"Hm." He picked the fork up, and twirled it thoughtfully. "It was in the news in Yokohama."

"Is that where you've been?"

"Mostly." The doctor made a rough gesture with his hand. "A year in Tokyo, and half in Shinjuku. I hated that style of life."

"Aah. And Yokohama was better?"

"Not by much…"

"Is it?"

"Yeah. When you've faced things…"

"And the rest?"

"… Kaori is… about. Somewhere between schools, I hear. As for the rest of the villagers… Most of them have taken residence in Sotoba."

"It was rebuilt?"

"No. It never was."

A slow nod. Seishin pushed the image out of his mind. It was a loneliness that could be held. Arms out, wavering between the void. And the village. He remembered writing something like that, calling Sunako over to check it. _"And, they move about. Starry-eyed Sailors look at them, wriggling out of hole with paper-thin walls to see the light of another day. But none of them can feel its warmth." _She had given approval, and he had written it down.

"Don't worry about it." An empty statement. He didn't want their meeting to end there. "Are you still writing?"

"Yes. In English, now. My latest work was different. It was a picture-book."

"I didn't think you would write a picture book."

"It's not a traditional, 'happy ending' picture book."

"Oh."

Seishin excused himself, leaving Toshio to his own worries. _It isn't being without him… There's a void when I'm with him. How did I think that this was going to be easy? It is… _

"I ordered two coffees and a large crêpe sampler. We can share it."

"Where do you live?"

"…"

"I've decided to let you live." Of course he had. He had no intention of killing Seishin. Seishin was… His friend… _And then, it was time to forget… Because, after the dead come back, they are no longer who they were before. _

"Toshio… I can't…"

"And why not?"

"Just… Go home, Toshio."

"Can't. Didn't book a plane back."

"… Please… Leave me alone…"

"Why?"

"… It's just… I…"

"Keep going." Toshio grinned, arrogantly satisfied. There was a little bit of the old, hesitant Seishin left. "Seishin, I'm not going to leave you alone."

"…"

Seishin withdrew his gaze, and went back to looking at the melting world. The raindrops made it look like that. Toshio tried to begin another conversation again. Seishin didn't respond. He let the fuzz of the electric lights preside over their reunion. Little lamps and the occasional flickering of light.

They ate in silence. Toshio, occasionally dropping comments about the food or Seishin's eating habits,. Seishin didn't respond to the latter, though cocking head in agreement of the former. It was melancholy again. A steady downbeat filled the room. It was music from Toshio's head, strung together by sighs and awkward pauses. Notes were interspersed with laughter. But there existed no such song now. Not like this.

"I already paid, Toshio."

"Then, I owe you."

"… No… You don't…"

"Mmm… Let's come here again next Tuesday."

"… Your job?"

"I said I was invited… I just need to interview for a proper position."

"Where is it?"

"Rochester."

"Tuesday?"

"Yeah. I'll buy this time."

Seishin reluctantly agreed. Stringing a second trivial encounter onto the first didn't change their nature. And, even if he had refused, Toshio would have found a way… He told himself that. Toshio refrained from pressing for much more.

To ask for anything else threatened to break the fragile acquaintance they had.

To ask for anything else meant to make futile promises.

They left together, just as they had come until they separated at the bus stop. Superficial words passed between them. Nods of acknowledgement. It couldn't be the same. Calculated smiles were gone. And the rain let up. Fallen leaves encrusted empty parking lots. The fall regalia showed its colors once again. Toshio gazed back at the empty city. He took the atmosphere in. No sanctity. No solace.

The last bus seat, the changing city. Gazing out of the window, regarding things quietly. No remorse for the aching bones, no reprieve for the greying hair. He'd always been teetering between generosity and selflessness. That hadn't changed. Not for Seishin. The doctor's own theory was refuted. And then, it was time for quiet inflection. _Kyouko died because… She was Shiki. Shiki live to kill. Seishin is a Shiki (a jinrou Shiki) Seishin lives to… Write(?) Protect(?) No. That doesn't… _The vehicle came to a jarring halt. He'd have to walk the rest of the way.

Lost in his own thoughts, and led astray by a changing world, Toshio Ozaki wandered. His eyes were unfocused, and his heartbeat inaudible. A word fluttered in the recesses of his mind. _Tuesday. _As long as there was that much between them. _Tuesday. _


	2. Muroi Seishin Chapter 1: Fireflies

A\N: orz;; Muroi seems quite depressed here. I didn't originally mean for this chapter to be so downbeat, with no hopes of resolution. But, somehow, it ended up this way.

Also: On Duluth—This Duluth isn't quite the "real" one. It's kind of like what Shibuya in TWEWY is to the real Shibuya—the landmarks, such as the Graffiti Wall in the previous chapter are maintained, though, smaller things, such as restaurants and movie theaters/concert halls etc. have been changed.

* * *

Rain dropped into the teacup. He had left it out on the porch the day before, to watch the fireflies flit around the rim, lapping up the remnants of the tea that he had made that afternoon. He'd made a mental note to retrieve it later, he currently lacked the drive.

He was aware of a vague stirring in his heart. The fireflies that slept there were now gone. They were dearly missed. The definite forms of uncaring insects, flitting about in the snow. They had a warm feeling to them. Sunako had stored them in jars, before realizing that her love for them was slowly killing them off. In turn, Seishin had bought her a habitat to keep them in. Their ephemeral lives contrasted with her eternal one. And, whatever fleeting happiness they had brought was enough for her. Although, by the time winter rolled around, her own fireflies were gone, and his would be there to comfort her.

But, they were missing now. Replaced by something that wasn't quite humanoid. It stood upright, and peered at the outside world through red-rimmed eyes. It made him a hollow man. Toshio had told him about it once. Though, he knew the other man wouldn't remember, now. _"Seishin, it's not quite like that. I think… it's just something that you hold, because you can't stand to let it go." _

And then, it had all shattered. Toshio himself was unaware of what he had done. The previous Tuesday had passed without any cause for celebration. As usual, Toshio hadn't assigned a particular time for the meeting—Seishin had to guess. He was two hours early, as Toshio had seen it.

Their conversation had been more fruitful this time. Toshio had the sense to steer clear from dead-end questions, though they somehow kept reoccurring not of his own volition, and Seishin had the courage to face him. Toshio had still had a nagging sense of disappointment.

"A coffee-cup friendship."

"Hm?"

"You know… Those guys that get together to get coffee, or something… But , nothing past that."

"…Oh…"

"Where did all that trust go?"

"…"

As usual, Seishin withdrew himself from the conversation without quite meaning to do so. The words welled up in his mouth, but festered as quickly as they had appeared. He didn't need the coffee. Or the interaction. But, somehow he had ended up having both. And the discontentment encroached.

He didn't particularly like sneaking behind Sunako's back—he saw it that way. He hadn't told her about meeting Toshio, just being reacquainted with a friend. She hadn't pried. And he didn't intend to keep deceiving her.

_It should have died out four years ago… _He thought. Some bitter nostalgia was left, underneath the watch-hand. Just above the surface of the skin. Words that had been meant for a different man. _He's still… the same… Talking about the same things… _"And, he's still chasing that future."

The sand in the hourglass was suffocating. In the distance, he could hear the pendulum swinging, the clocks clacking, the birds crowing. Ten feet too deep in his own thoughts. _Even now… The village still buried its dead. _

Crossing thirty-two might have meant something to him before. Thirty-three. Then thirty-four. Maybe, one day, he would have woken up with the startling realization that he had loved the temple; he had simply gone a little astray. But, he was far too old to believe in faerie-tale taglines. And far too young to kick off the blanket. It still kept monsters away, hid him from the dark, took the sound of that doleful bell away.

The snow would be coming soon. And Tuesday was approaching once again. He knew all too well what it had meant. A third lie added onto the first two. Shadows fluttered from beyond the pages. No Sotoba-born child should have been this free.

"_Hey Seishin… What do you want to be when you grow up?"_

"… _I don't know…"_

"_Oh. Haven't decided yet?"_

"_What about you, Toshio?"_

"… _I… Just want to be happy…"_

In the end, he had gotten that fleeting bluebird. He set his spectacles down on the table. He didn't need to see the faces beyond the door. Sunako would be up soon. He'd have to compose himself before then.

His fingers itched for the steering wheel. The soft asphalt grinding beneath the tires of his Toyota. It was a small car. He didn't need any direction. And, that pleased him. The cold wind blowing through his hair. The hours between the night and the dawn, chasing that endless horizon. And then the augmented dreams on the sandy shoals.

It was _his _city after all. At night, that was. No Shiki. No other Shiki. Though, Toshio's arrival had threatened to shatter that existence. He hadn't done anything _wrong _per se. It was just… A displaced feeling. Something irreparable. It wouldn't be that way again. But yet, the lingering feelings persisted.

His determination hit a peak. He fumbled with the cellphone. It had his number. The doctor had given it to him. That alone was a sign of trust. He held his breath. One ring. Two rings. Three rings. He was apprehensive. The phone slipped from his hands and hit the floor.

"Hello?" Seishin froze. He hadn't counted on Toshio answering. He'd wanted a passive withdrawal. An answering-machine call, a dead-end friendship, and then it'd be done. In two years he'd move. "… Seishin? Is that…?"

He tenderly held the phone before disconnecting the line. Toshio would call back. And the jinrou would 'forget' his phone between the couch cushions.

He'd half-expected Toshio to walk in. And there was a part of him that had wanted to crawl back to Toshio. Be held and comforted. Even if it was a lie.

But, head monks weren't supposed to dream about married doctors. They were supposed to make heirs with able priestesses. And jinrou weren't supposed to be unnerved by nearly-middle-aged humans.

He could have just sent Toshio home. Dug in to the crook of his neck. Convinced him that he had really wanted to go back to Japan. Live in Sotoba, like everybody else. Be content with chasing after the bird of paradise, rather than reaching it.

Toshio was… Just east of Eden. A step short of heaven. Two hops away from utopia. _Utopia means no place, _Seishin thought wistfully. So, he'd never reach. Every year, he'd grow. And fall a little too short. He'd been nurturing a burden of his own volition. Perhaps he hadn't noticed it. They had both been shackled for so long.

The years that passed… They had been the same for him. Halfway between desire and apprehension. He was stuck. Crushed underneath the sands of the hourglass. Toshio was still there, despite the fact that he'd had the intension to let Sotoba go.

_"I won't let you in. Even if you are Nao." _

But, the time had already passed. And, the days were growing shorter. So, when he sauntered out the door, he hadn't thought about Toshio.


	3. Ozaki Toshio Chapter 2: Filament

A\N: Giving up the Gun by Vampire Weekend; it is my new favorite Toshio/Seishin song. Also, a heads up, the next chapter is going to be a Sunako chapter. And, another warning, this chapter might be more-than-slightly disturbing. :'U

He left the same way as he had come; he took the bus to the apartment complex. He didn't particularly dislike the night. It just reminded him of a time… From before. So, he pulled out his sole illumination, and began to focus it on the book that lay open in his lap. It was Seishin's. He'd taken the time to page through it during an earlier work break. As always, it was very well written. Though this one had a tinge of melancholy.

Toshio couldn't help but feel that the story was familiar. He read quietly, looking for any subtle hints, before giving up the notion. He was impatient. And, he wasn't in the mood for reading. Any satisfaction that he had was entirely gone. Toshio wasn't quite used to these things. He hadn't lost a patient in four years.

He slammed a hand against the window, before being reprimanded by the bus driver for misconduct. There really wasn't anything he could have done. The patient had been brought in far too late. Just a little too slow.

He fished the cellphone out of his pocket. The medical coat was far too pretentious. Somewhere, there was a nagging sense of unfinished business. But he wouldn't pry into the matter. Duluth wasn't his. _Neither was Sotoba. _And that fact wouldn't change; no matter how much he touched on the matter.

Eyes that weren't quite his. "How you've changed…" He mumbled beneath his breath, before squinting at the numbers on the cellphone. The ringing had grown insistent; he'd liked the beat, but disliked the lyrics.

"Hello?" There was no response on the other end. "… Seishin? Is that…?" There was a steady beep on the other end of the line. Seishin had hung up. He really hadn't expected anything more, truth be told… He just… He just… He wasn't quite sure what he was doing anymore. Doctors weren't supposed to believe in jinrou. Or Shiki.

And yet, he had managed to eradicate a large nest of them. And he was done with that. A tinge of the schizophrenia had remained; he'd been wise enough not to indulge it. To indulge meant to endanger. Throw away what little he had salvaged in the years after.

He couldn't help but instinctively feel for a stake. And he'd gripped his other hand to stop probing the darkness. He turned his focus back to the cellphone. Call Seishin back once. No response on that end. Call Seishin back twice? He wasn't in the mood to talk to Sunako—she would certainly pick up if Toshio had forced the issue.

He sighed, and slid the phone back into his pocket. Seishin seemed to have the momentary advantage; his intent was still unclear. He'd had it all figured out in the one-room house in Yokohama. He'd go to Taiwan next. And then maybe India (though, he was skeptical on this one, the country skirted the equator—the days were far too long and far too hot for a Shiki.) If he hadn't found them there, then he'd move on to Europe.

The mad compulsion that drove him was at rest now. Quieted only by finding the object of his desire. For what reason though? Seishin didn't seem to interact much—yes, this was to be expected. Seishin was saddled with Sunako – also a given. Seishin didn't seem to want to talk to Toshio – least surprising of all. So, why was he shadowing Seishin?

Was it a startling lack of better activity? No… If that were the case; it would have been easily remedied by the move to Yokohama. The saltwater air promised a new life. And he hadn't taken it.

Then, had it been unfinished business? No. If that were the case; Sunako would have been his target. She had symbolized the apple of discord that lay deep in Sotoba. He was neither Cain nor Abel; a fool for believing himself to be both.

That left despair. Perhaps that was the reason for his excursion. Looking for that familiar sunrise. Perhaps it was just to convince himself that there was something left.

Toshio stepped off the bus with a feeling of discontentment. He still hadn't found the answer to his current relationship with Seishin. And he still hadn't received an answer from the other man.

The apartment took his mind off of things. At least for a short while. The hospital had arranged for a "small" apartment to be shared between Toshio and a colleague. The other man was pleasant. However, he was prying. Something that Seishin was not. So, he kept his thoughts to himself. Nevertheless, he was a welcome relief from the dead women that usually kept him company.

They raked their claws across his skin during the night, sipping the blood that accrued. And he'd ignore the apple-blossom delusions, hoping that they would go away one day. So, perhaps Seishin was haunted by similar ghouls.

Or, perhaps he had made a mistake. Could that have been it? No. Everything he had done was in defense of the dream. His own dream. Not his father's Ozaki Clinic.

He threw the medical coat off, and slid underneath the bed. He couldn't sleep. His muscles were tensed. So, that left calling Seishin. Could it be considered stalking? Pursuing Seishin like this. Seishin wouldn't vocalize his distaste. And he was aware of his own selfishness.

He was surprised when there was an answer on the other end. "Hello?"

"…Toshio… It's late…"

"Don't hang up."

"…"

"So, how are you?"

"…Toshio… I don't have time for this…"

"You called me first."

And, with that, Seishin ended the call. It was predictable. Their conversations had reached an anticipated outcome. Every time Toshio strayed outside of impersonal conversation, Seishin would neglect to answer. _And, he'll boycott the rest of the conversation. _

He threw the blanket off, preferring to sit on the side of the bed, looking out at the dusky world. His medical coat lay sprawled beside him, serving as a reminder of his declining state of morals.

Occasionally, she would visit. Just for a short conversation. And he wouldn't deny her. Because, she was already dead. So, he'd pass her off as a hallucination. But he would remember to lock his door. And, when she appeared on this night, he was expecting her. She lived on his misery now. Maybe that was enough for her.

"Kyouko."

"Toshio." She draped the medical coat around his shoulders.

"You're dead. Go away."

"And you're still as ugly as ever." She drew the blinds closed, and obscured the view from the window. "Tell me, Toshio… Do you like playing 'God?'"

"S…Shut up. You're not real."

"You keep telling yourself that. If I wasn't real, would you be so unnerved by me?"

"Mn…"

"I see."

"S… Sit down… Please."

"What a gentleman."

"Nnnh…"

"Toshio, the medical coat is lovely."

"Kyouko… It's not…"

"So, you do admit it?"

"Admit what?"

"Your hypocrisy."

"I…." His voice trailed off. He didn't know how to answer her.

"And, what of the priest?"

"…Seishin?"

"It doesn't matter what his name is. You said it yourself. He's a different person."

"Kyouko…"

"So, is that true of all Shiki?" She edged closer to him, hands on his cheeks, ice crystals sprouting at the tips of her fingers. Her touch was cold. So cold. He inched away from her, surprised by her sudden contact. She pressed her face closer to his.

He knew what was to come, but it didn't quite change the fact that it was startling. Her kiss, that was. She held a paralyzed Toshio in her gaze, as she initiated it, slipping her hands below his belt. He pushed her away, and she relaxed her predatory grip.

"He was much better than you."

"Who was?"

"You know the answer to that question."

"Kyouko. Dammit. Who was?" His hands were on her elbows now, shaking the apparition. "Who was it?"

"It's pitiful. You really didn't know?"

"…Know what?"

"And you called yourself his 'best friend.'"

"Seishin? He wouldn't."

"Really? He was more than willing. As long as it was 'Toshio Ozaki' that held him."

"He isn't like that."

"Keep telling yourself that, Toshio." She giggled a little, the laughter ringing in his ears. She left him with that discordant noise. She had a habit of aggravating him. Even more so after her death. The things she said often unnerved him.

And, she wasn't even real. This particular night wasn't quite an exception. Kyouko's words. He needed to clear his head. The country air was getting to him. A stagnating sight. It always was. He tossed the coat off, opting for a darker, less pretentious material. This one had been left at his doorstep three years ago. He only had to guess at the source. Truth be told, he wasn't quite expecting it.

"I'm heading out." Toshio called out to the other man that inhabited his apartment. There was a sense of complacency in talking to living people. Real people, as opposed to phantasms.

"You just got back." He was lazily flipping through the standard fare of sitcom, sipping some unknown liquid from a small flask. He was always lounging in that couch. It didn't matter much to Toshio though.

"… Yeah. Need a walk."

"Tough day?"

"Dead patient." Toshio was lacing up his shoes now; he hadn't changed the pair in a while. The same red converse that he had purchased with Seishin. It had been nearly five years now, though they held up well. He'd forced a matching pair onto Seishin, though, the priest probably didn't have his anymore.

"Don't worry about that. It's not your fault."

"It is."

"You're too hard on yourself." A sip of the beverage.

"Is that it?" Toshio zipped up his coat.

"I forgot. You're more disciplined than the rest of us."

"You belittle yourself too much." He unlocked the door,

"If you're heading out, can you pick up some beef? Or… Pork is fine too… Whichever you'd prefer having." The door tentatively arched back into the doorway.

"I thought I was cooking."

"I don't think we'd survive if you were."

"… True enough… I'll… Leave now."

"Don't come home unless you bring me beef."

"Deal." With that, he stepped into the dark sea beyond.

Toshio wrapped himself up in the dark overcoat, hands in his pockets, eyes focused on the pavement. Kyouko was still on his mind. Seishin was… A good person. So, Kyouko was lying. And, why was that? He didn't know. He just… Didn't know. What was it about Seishin that demanded an examination? He… Wasn't like that. Wasn't fixated on Toshio. Didn't offer himself up to anybody that came knocking. No. He knew Seishin… He knew Seishin.


	4. Kirishiki Sunako Chapter 1: Somnium

A\N: Since this is generally narrated by Sunako, I've opted for Ozaki's surname, while leaving Seishin's given… Mostly because she wouldn't go so far as to endear the _good _doctor. Death is also spelled with a capital "D" here, because it's become sort of like an entity to Sunako. This last bit of the Author Note won't quite make sense yet, but I don't want to add it to the end… e ue yeah. So, you'll have to deal. The next chapter is chronologically _before_ this chapter. And has a hint of insight as to Seishin's behavior.

The sand slipped past her hands again. It was crumbling. It was crumbling. She wasn't supposed to have dreams. But this one had knocked on her door. And she'd let it in. It settled beneath her dresser, and alit on her head during the daytime hours. She hadn't quite told Seishin yet. He'd probably write it down. And she hadn't quite gotten all the details down. It was just… So beautiful before. And then, it had become something of an atrocity.

But, it was still a dream. And like all the small pleasures that had been afforded to her, she'd grown to love it.

She'd grown to _need _him in the past four years. The voice that read to her by the bedside, the hand that had found its way into hers, as the dusk marched onward, and the kindly presence that had sheltered her. Perhaps because he had similar scars.

The glass man she held in her hands. He'd seemed so fragile. So close to breaking. He'd hid the glass underneath a porcelain smile. And left the stones by the gate. He'd waited. And waited. And waited. But no one came for him. He'd kept that porcelain smile, winding himself up during the daytime.

At night, he'd walk through the twilight woods, regretting what he'd done in the hours before, trying to find some solace. But he'd never find any. And perhaps there was a part of her that had pitied him for it.

So, Sunako had been placed on a higher tier than Ozaki. The same Ozaki that haunted his thoughts, who'd lost him twice, and who he'd recently been freed from. Seishin had come in half-dreaming that night, a bottle of vodka had been a bit too much for him, and she'd been contented enough to listen. So he'd told her about Sotoba.

Ozaki. Mostly Ozaki. It had always gone back to that doctor, hadn't it? The doctor who'd rejected him. It wasn't an outright rejection. But marriage was just the same. And the contention bubbling inside Seishin; Ozaki hadn't notice that, had he? That was just a guess on Sunako's part. So, he'd made a mistake with Kyouko. But, it wasn't her that he was underneath.

He'd always been flush against Ozaki. And couldn't help himself from making those mistakes. So, if Ozaki had somehow found him now, would Seishin's peace be destroyed? Ozaki meant… That Seishin would have to bear the weight of the village alone. He wasn't quite strong enough to tell the doctor in person. So, he'd written it many times.

And it had been ignored. She plucked the book off the table. His latest work was like that too. Even if he had changed the language and the medium.

Seishin had left a note for her, stuck to the door of her room. He had gone out, _hunting, _apparently. Though he'd never killed. And had never made any motion to. Sunako had no desire to lose Seishin. Nor was she particularly fond of Death. Seishin was at par with Tatsumi, when it came to food. He'd even created an emergency store for Sunako, though she'd insisted that there would be no need for such a thing.

And he'd always manage to bring someone new through the door. Sunako would be allowed to drink first. And then Seishin took whatever was left. Then he'd send the poor fellow home, with instructions to rest and recuperate.

So, she respected him for that. Because he was so unlike Death; so unlike Ozaki. And he'd stay with her for eternity. Because they were both Shiki. So, it would be beautiful forever. Unlike the paradise of Eden.

Their kingdom would never fall. Never die. And thus, her dream was realized. With little regard for the ideals that Ozaki had so vigorously championed.

When Seishin had stumbled in, she hadn't been entirely surprised. She'd been expecting food, but hadn't minded the lack thereof. He seemed… _off, _somehow.

"Ah. Seishin. You're back." She set the book on the table, and readied to take his coat. His unwillingness to part with it was perhaps indicative of other things.

"…" He'd shrugged her hand off, neglecting to answer.

"Seishin…? Are you… feeling alright?"

"Yes… I am fine… I… just need a shower."

"Seishin… Is that true?"

"No."

"Then… What is?"

It was barely a whisper. "Toshio Ozaki."

"Seishin… He's in Japan."

"… That's not… true."

"So, where is he?"

"Rochester."

"Rochester." She repeated. "So, why hasn't he come to eradicate this nest."

"He will. After today."

"…"

"Sunako… I won't let that happen."

"Then, what do we do?"

"Leave."

"To where?"

"Somewhere else. Just not here."

"Seishin… I like it here."

"…I… did too."

"This city is _yours. _You have run of the night. And the day. You probably have enough connections to…"

"Dismember Toshio?"

"Yes." She nodded frantically. Seishin had no reason to lie to her. As impossible as it seemed, Seishin wouldn't… And it would explain his recent behavior; the edginess, and the tendency to avoid direct answers.

"Sunako. That would just prove him right in the end. We're not monsters."

"But he killed his own wife. And let the village burn."

"…Sunako… We'll just leave quietly. I don't…"

"Want to kill _him._"

"...I…I'm sorry…" With that, Seishin left, a distant look in his eyes. It didn't seem fair. It just wasn't fair. He was caught below the hourglass. It had been filled to the brim with a thick sake. And he was drowning in his own delusion. So the two of them had tried to free him from the amber-colored liquid, only to find that their combined efforts weren't quite enough.

Were his words a lie? The ones he'd won her over with; telling her that she wasn't an enemy of God. Telling her she had a right to live. Or, had they been meant for Ozaki as well? She loved Duluth. She loved Seishin's Duluth, and her stake in it. So, she'd just have to take matters into her own hands.


	5. Ozaki Toshio Chapter 3: Fracture

A\N: I have a burn. That is all. Oh, and in case you didn't get the previous author's note, this chapter is chronologically before the previous chapter. Reviews make me a happy clam~~~~ Euhh. AP exams are killer. But, now I have a blog; listen to me grumble about this before I write it. C:

So he'd ventured two cities too far, for something that could have more easily been purchased at a small market near home. In the end, he'd picked out something slightly more expensive, if only to rectify his actions.

What _was _he doing? Seishin had made it clear. He hadn't quite wanted Toshio around. So, he was chasing after something elusive. Would it have been easier, if he'd given in earlier? Had forgotten about the Shiki, and pursued Seishin instead? It would have resulted in the same thing in the end. A missing village, that was.

The meat would spoil if he wouldn't take it home… But it was just… Just… So… He didn't know. There wasn't quite a definite word for it. Basking in streetlamps, sleeping on park benches. Although he hadn't done the latter, the former had the same feeling. It was just… Seishin's town was quite beautiful at night. So, that would be the excuse, given with a bottle of wine. Toshio had hand-selected a rather expensive one.

It was more of a deep-seated regret than anything else. Seishin… He'd bought a nice wine for Seishin too. Though Seishin wouldn't accept the wine, and Toshio wouldn't press for anything more than he'd been given. So, the wine lay dormant.

It was just like the first time, in retrospect. He'd wanted to see Seishin, he hadn't expected to see Seishin. Seishin had appeared. And it was just like the first time, that he'd pursued Seishin. He'd _expected _Seishin to see him this time. The clanking bottles made it obvious. Naturally, he'd _known _Seishin was walking towards the graffiti-ed bridge underneath the overpass. So, he'd been happy to follow.

It was a sleepless night in Duluth. He'd known that to begin with. There was a certain persistence clinging to Seishin, and his dark-colored clothing. A magnetism that permeated any reasonable judgment that Toshio could have made. Seishin wasn't quite a relic of a stagnating society. But he wasn't quite something from the twenty-first century. He handwrote his manuscripts, and used computers sparingly. And he'd asked Toshio how to change ringtones and wallpaper on his cellphone. Not that Toshio had known, anyway.

He was something in between. An outsider born into an increasingly closed society. Chasing after Seishin had been the hard part. He'd been fine letting Natsuno crucify himself on grounds of morality. And had only felt regret afterwards. Natsuno could have done something with his life… Even if he was already dead.

A thin snow fell, giving the trees a dilute look. Toshio pulled his overcoat around him, and drew the plastic bag closer to his body. It hugged his knee, warmed slightly by his body heat. He was too old for this. His breath hung in the air, ice crystals, some old feeling reemerged.

Two right turn, one left, still behind Seishin. He tired of the cat-and-mouse chase quickly. Worn-down lungs weren't quite useful for keeping up with mechanical jinrou movements. But, in the end, the lack of cigarettes had made him more irritable.

He ran a hand through his hair, before reaching for Seishin, as if to deliberate his decision.

"Hey." His hand was on Seishin's shoulder, slightly restraining the other man.

"Toshio?"

"Who else?" Toshio had that same semi-arrogant expression he had worn so long; matching the carefully calculated soft smile that Seishin bore.

"…It's late… I just…" He shifted uncomfortably, opting to look at his feet, rather than Toshio's eyes.

"Oh. I must have lost track of time… I was just shopping… And…" He paused. It was stupid. To pretend that he hadn't come looking for Seishin; to pretend that Seishin didn't know why Toshio was in Duluth.

Seishin gave Toshio an understanding nod. "Ah…" He hesitated before asking, shuffling his feet, then clenching his hand in his pocket. He cleared his throat when he was ready. "Do you need a ride back home?"

"…No." Toshio sighed, bringing his palm to his forehead. "I don't suppose you'd know where the nearest bus stop is…?"

"…It's just a block down."

"Dammit. I'm too tired to walk that far."

Seishin nodded; not restating his offer, but instead shifting his gaze from his feet to the buildings behind Toshio.

"Seishin?"

"…Ah yes. Sorry."

"Don't apologize. You haven't done anything wrong."

"I haven't…?"

"Dammit. Are you sick?" He dropped the plastic bag, reaching for Seishin's forehead. Seishin, surprised at the sudden contact.

"…I'm not…" He wriggled away from Toshio.

"Hold still!" Toshio snapped.

"I… I'm fine, Toshio."

"Seishin…" He sighed, removing his hand from Seishin's forehead. There was a thin layer of sweat that had deposited onto the back of his palm.

"Toshio… I'm fine." There was a hollowness in his voice, a dilation in his pupils.

"Seishin… You don't seem fine…"

Seishin's eyes went back to the buildings behind Toshio. ".. I am…"

"Why do you keep looking back there?"

"…Ah… It's… No reason."

"Seishin."

"I… I'm feeling lightheaded. I just need to lie down…"

"Do you want me to walk you there?" Toshio had taken Seishin's arm in his own, feeling moisture on the underside of Seishin's shirt sleeve. He turned the fabric over in his hand, to find an irregular, dark, stain; one that was small enough to have been missed at first glance. "…Is this yours?" The tone was flat.

Seishin jerked his hand away from Toshio. "I… I don't need you to…"

"Seishin… You're bleeding."

"…I am?"

"This is yours, isn't it?"

The reply was quiet. "…No."

The anger in Toshio's voice was rising. "Then who?"

Seishin looked back at his feet. "… I… don't know his name…"

"Dammit. Where?" He followed Seishin's gaze. "…Take me there."

Seishin looked away from Toshio, leading him back around, the way he had come, slipping into an alleyway between a florist and a sandwich shop. There hadn't seemed to be much discrimination this time. He'd let Seishin lead him to the man, slumped against a garbage can, lacking the finesse that had marked Kirishiki kills.

Seishin shied away, letting the doctor edge closer, and take a pulse, tourniquet minor puncture wounds, disinfect the bite that Seishin had left. When he'd finished, he gave Seishin a look. The particular one he'd given Kyouko before he'd killed her. "…Monster."

"…I…"

"Don't you think about your victims? Or, do you just devour everyone mercilessly?"

"… I don't…"

"Then, what is this? Is this some sadistic form of art?"

"Toshio… I…"

The doctor felt the anger escalating within him. It was his mistake to have left the jinrou alive. He settled for a minor infliction though; he had nothing to wound Seishin with, so he took the palm of his hand, and permitted it to collide squarely with Seishin's cheek, creating a dull, reverberating sound that had caused the crows to disperse.

Seishin let his hand hang loosely on his cheek. The initial sting had been replaced with a numbing feeling; he'd bitten the inside of his mouth and ended up consuming his own blood. He'd refrained from immediately looking at Toshio.

He'd slowly brought himself upward from his crouching position, regarding Toshio with the same hollow eyes that he'd been behind for so long.

And, he'd lost any footing he'd had. "…Sei…Seishin…?"

"…" Seishin had taken his hand from his cheek, and dropped it at his side. The numbness persisted, with a certain precedence over his better judgment. Perhaps he could have stayed. Perhaps he should have stayed. But his feet had begun moving, and then, it was already too late.

"Seishin. Wait. Don't…" Toshio had reached out for Seishin now, missing his shirt narrowly. Seishin had slipped away, Toshio still fazed. When he'd finally realized that Seishin had begun to run; there was already too much distance between them.

Toshio began to sprint after him, and found himself already out of breath. Hands on knees, coughing violently. Seishin hadn't stopped to check on him. Seishin hadn't even looked back then. The jinrou had stopped running, and begun to walk; as if to taunt the doctor. He couldn't even keep up with this.

They must have been some sight, doctor running after the ex-priest. Toshio had invited it upon himself. All the cigarettes had begun to take a toll. He'd already dropped to the ground, hands hanging loosely at his sides. The pavement was cold. Not that he'd expected it to be warm… He just needed something more inviting.

He let his eyes close, knowing how irresponsible he was being; his roommate would have to find him… And then he'd have to make an excuse as to why he was in Duluth. And then he'd have to… Something with Seishin. He didn't know quite what to do.

He drifted out of consciousness like that, with the knowledge that he'd probably overstepped his boundaries; and that he'd effectively driven a wedge in whatever relationship that he'd had with Seishin.

There was a small smirk on his face; it was funny, wasn't it? The doctor who had reached for the sky, and ended up on the concrete. The Kirishiki would have laughed at this. Perhaps the little one would laugh at this; Seishin would tell her. Then they'd laugh together. And then what?

Morning would come. It always did. And Toshio had to figure something out before then.


	6. Muroi Seishin Chapter 2: Numb

A\N: The reason I have tagged Muroi as being moderately rich is partially Sunako, as well as his own insurance returns; he gets the Kirishiki fortune, as well as compensation for the deaths of both his parents, and the temple. Also, Sandrine, I will very openly propose to you here. Romantic, huh?

He was numb. He was vaguely aware of the hand between his legs. But mostly, he felt numb. He'd made a mess out of his bed sheets, and had little to no resolve to clean them. He'd been lying on his side for most of the day, and had remained that way even long after the sun set.

It wasn't necessarily anything that Toshio had said to him… Nor was it anything that Toshio had done to him. It was just… Toshio's presence. He'd needed it in Sotoba, had grown uncomfortable with it in Duluth.

Seishin was no longer a priest, and no longer obligated to pray, but he'd continued to do it anyway, despite his discontentment with such things. He'd told Sunako that God did not intervene in the affairs of mortals, but had ended up kneeling anyway.

Sunako hadn't had a vocal opinion on it.

And he hadn't asked her to.

He was aware of her presence as well. Listening to his little sighs and moans outside the door. It hadn't quite stopped them… Perhaps she had made him feel more ashamed of his actions. He'd quickly muffled them afterwards.

There was a soft knock. "…Hey… Seishin?"

"…Yes?"

"Are…Are you okay?"

"Ah… I'm fine." There was a little pause. A ragged breath of air.

"Seishin… You've been in there for a while…" He could hear her edge closer to the door.

"Yes…"

"Seishin… I'm worried… About you…"

"Sunako…"

"…The opera, Seishin."

"…What?"

"You bought tickets to today's show…"

"Oh… Would you like to go?"

"It's four in the morning; the opera must have been done a long time ago… Ah… That's not to say…"

"Four in the morning?" He repeated the words blankly. In all honesty, he'd lost track of time almost immediately after he'd entered the room.

"Seishin… May I come in?"

"..."

"…Seishin?"

"…Hold on for a moment…" He sighed softly, before reseating himself on the side of the bed. Stood up. Slipped on the dainty bedroom shoes. Tore off the bedsheets. Cogs grinding against each other. Pull up the blinds. Look at the lake. Silver beams on icy water. Shuffle to the bathroom. Stuff the sheets in the trashcan. Wash off his hands, start the shower.

It hadn't made him any cleaner than before; perhaps just added a layer of soap to his body. He'd gone with the convention anyway.

Find a shirt. Towel his hair. It was the same as before. He just wasn't smiling this time around.

He threw the doors to the room open when he deemed himself ready. She stood there, on her tiptoes, stockings to dark carpet. She wouldn't see anything. He'd replaced the glass doors with wooden ones. Less light. More space to think.

"Seishin… We need more guinea pig food…" She held the rodent in her arms, moving it closer to him. An ample distraction.

"…Was there enough for tonight, or…?"

"Yes, I was able to feed her."

"Then, I'll just get it tomorrow." He made a motion to shut the doors again.

"…Ah no, Seishin, I… I was wondering if we could go stargazing, maybe?"

"…Stargazing?"

"Yes. There's a cluster of meteors, and I'd really like to see them…"

"…Sunako..." He rubbed his temples lightly "…I'm busy… Maybe later?"

"Seishin… Please?"

"…Sunako…"

"Please?" It was hard to argue with her. He let himself be led along. Down the well-designed spiral staircase, past the spacious kitchen. It was a pristine house. Elegant, and airy. It had suited the two of them perfectly; so he'd been fine paying the large sum for it. He was in a sense, discontent with leaving. Perhaps he'd rent it out. Keep the property. Come back in seventy years, when the face of Duluth had changed so completely that Toshio Ozaki was entirely out of the picture.

He flung the back porch door open. Down the wooden stairway, to the wonderland that was the grassy knoll. They had picnicked there the previous year—or rather, Seishin had made six types of soup, and had ended up finishing all of Sunako's leftovers. He'd felt sick for two weeks afterwards.

It was a fond memory, he couldn't help but feel the corners of his mouth turn up into a smile. Leaving would be hard.

"Seishin… Do we need blankets?" She hugged the rodent closer to her body.

"No, it's fine. We can just lie down on the grass."

"…Have you stargazed before?"

"Yes… Once in high school… With…"

"Ozaki?"

"Yes…" He shuffled uncomfortably, opting for a grassy seat. She followed suit, only to be moved onto Seishin's lap. He affectionately brushed her hair back.

"Seishin… Which one is that one?" She had her hand outstretched; he followed her gaze.

"… I'm not sure… It's just… It's part of a constellation"

"Oh?"

"Cassiopeia… It was my mother's favorite…"

"…What is a Cassiopeia?"

"…Oh, just a character from Greek mythology…" He paused. "If you look over there… There's a little crown…"

"That little one?" She'd pointed to a semi-circular arc.

"... Ah… Sorry, yes. That's the one"

"What is it called, Seishin?"

"…Just the Northern Crown… Corona Borealis…"

"Borealis?"

"Latin. Most of the names are."

She nodded, pursing her lips for a moment. "…Seishin… Do sea-monsters exist?"

"I don't think there are any sea-monster constellations…"

"No, no… I don't mean in the sky…"

"Ah… Sunako… I don't think that sea-monsters are real…"

"Then… What are those?" She pointed at two vaguely human figures at the far end of the beach. They had begun to drip water all over the pristine sand.

"…They're… hold on a moment…" He slid Sunako off his lap. He left her in mild confusion; she was still seated, holding her guinea pig.

He clutched the railing tightly. Yes, he was uncomfortable with the thought of public access to his private prison. No, he probably couldn't gate off the water. That would take away from the aesthetic appeal. "E… Excuse me, this is private property…"

"Seishin?"

"…Toshio?" He was already halfway down the stairs. There were only three of them; perhaps a mistake on his part.

"Seishin… What are you doing here?" The figure on the left (Seishin presumed that this one was Toshio; the other hadn't talked.)

"I… I.. I live here." He choked it out; it shouldn't have been that difficult. It was his house. He had the authority to call the cops, if he so desired.

"…I thought you lived in those little… What do they call them…? Oh, right. Suburbs." Toshio frowned.

"…No?"

"…Right. Hey, do you know what time it is?"

"…Ah. Sorry. I don't have a watch." He thought for a moment. "What are you doing here, anyways?"

"…Fishing… Or… At least we were…" Toshio grumbled; the man next to him, giggling at this. "Quit it." He elbowed the other man sharply in the ribs. "…Seishin… I'd like you to meet this idiot roommate of mine…"

"…Hm? Oh. It's nice to meet you." He held a hand out, half-heartedly. Of course his mind wasn't on the other man.

He found his hand tightly gripped, enthusiastically shaken. "…Wow… This is so pretty…" He was distracted. Seishin hastily withdrew his hand. "…Hey, I know we just met and everything… But, uh, do you mind if I bring my girlfriend here later?"

"…Ah, that's fine…" Seishin absently scratched the back of his head. He'd been surprised by the question; it had caught him off-guard, there was probably no harm in saying 'yes.' "…Toshio… I…"

"…Yes…?" The doctor had his arms crossed. He was soaking wet. Obviously impatient.

"…Never mind… I'll just… Towels?"

He'd turned to leave, when he'd found himself restrained by the doctor. Toshio had held his elbow lightly. Seishin had felt himself grow weary. Toshio had done this the last time. And perhaps if he'd been found in Sotoba, then too. "Finish that thought; you've made me curious." He then mumbled "…And you haven't returned any of my calls… Or texts…"

He swallowed, and began. "…I'm moving."

The roommate had seemed awestruck at this. "Wait, wait, if you move… Can I buy this house?"

"Ah… I'm not sure… Perhaps I should go and get some towels? Maybe a change of clothes as well…?"

"Hey, um, can you make breakfast too?" This one was Toshio's roommate. Toshio had shot him a glare for this.

"…Idiot…"

"… No, it's fine… I was about to make eggs anyway… Unless you'd rather have…"

"Seishin… You don't have to make breakfast…" Toshio sighed.

"…No… You're here anyway…"

"…Seishin… Are you okay?"

"...Perfectly fine." Seishin had edged back to the stairs.

"Seishin… Are we going to finish stargazing?" Toshio was startled by this; he hadn't quite expected her to interrupt. But… After all, she was _his _daughter.

"…Ah… No… I'm sorry… Perhaps…" He paused, thoughtfully. "…I'll just finish it quickly…"

"...Seishin… You can… You know…"

"… I have no interest in killing."

He'd walked back into the house, and painstakingly selected two pairs of clothes. He humored himself with the ones he'd chosen for Toshio. He was at least entitled to that much. Then the towels. And then plastic bags for the wet clothes; if he was going to invite them in…

He sighed. It had happened again; without intending to, he'd allowed Toshio a greater piece of his life than he'd originally supposed. Toshio just made him… tired, for lack of a better word. He still couldn't shake off this seeming connection with Toshio. And he couldn't bring himself to leave Toshio outside.

The door slid open; he'd left it unlatched. Down the stairs with the cloth-filled bags. He'd wordlessly handed them to the doctor, and his roommate, with a swift motion to come inside. "…To change, if you'd like…"

Then it dawned on him that neither of them had asked for the clothes in the first place. Seishin took Sunako's fragile hand in his own. It was funny… He hadn't quite seen Sunako as fragile before. She'd exuded much more confidence than he had, originally.

The pair began to follow them, keeping a bit behind Seishin, mostly out of courtesy. The roommate was still ogling over the house, and too seemingly distracted to notice anything out of the ordinary.

It had been Toshio who'd spoken first. "…Seishin… Do you have a bathroom to change in?"

"…Ah yes… It's down the hall, and to the left." He bit his lip. "…But there's no shower…"

"Don't need one." Toshio said, gruffly. His roommate followed suit. Within minutes, they were both changed, the leaky bags left on Seishin's welcome mat. Seishin's clothes had fit him well, but had been a little large on his roommate.

He'd walked back into the informal living area, to find Seishin back in the kitchen, stove on, pan greased. "…Seishin… You don't have to…" He'd already eased into a barstool on the outer portion of the kitchen, pulling his seat closer to that of his roommate.

"No… It's fine… I get tired of cooking for myself, every so often."

"Wait. Does that mean the little girl is a ghost?" Both Seishin and Toshio had looked at Toshio's roommate.

Before Toshio could supply a suitable answer, Seishin had one, himself. "She has certain dietary restrictions… The most I can get her to eat is soup." He had a little chuckle here. "So, the palette can get quite… dry."

"How many different kinds of soups can you make?"

"Forty-Two." This had quieted the roommate. He obviously hadn't expected Seishin's slight sense of humor. To be fair, neither had Toshio.

"Hey. Hey. Toshio. I had no idea you had such an awesome friend." He nudged the doctor now. "I mean, if he were a girl, I'd totally fall for him. Even if he already has a kid, and stuff."

Toshio grew increasingly impatient with his roommate. He rubbed his temples. "…Hey, Seishin… Do you mind if I smoke?"

"… You'll set the smoke detectors off… If you'd like to go outside… I don't see a problem with it…"

"Not in the mood." He looked back at Seishin now. "…Did you do something with your hair?"

"Did I?" He echoed it, touching the tips of his hair now.

"The ends. They're a different color."

"Oh." He'd pulled a strand of hair into view. "…I tried to dye it… This was the end result." He'd unknowingly given Toshio a small smile.

"…Mmmm… It…" There was some hesitation there. "…It looks nice."

"…Ah… Thank you." Toshio had noticed the lack of eye contact. Seishin had set plates down, and slid omelets onto them, effortlessly.

"You're wearing an apron."

"…Is it wrong…?"

"No." The doctor sighed. "Just… different."

"What's in these?" The roommate again. "They're really good! When I bring my girlfriend here, can you make these ones? And possibly dessert? And maybe…"

"…I didn't have enough to make a proper omelet… It's mostly seasoning, with some spring onions added in… And just a piece of mint on the top…" He shifted his weight. "…Maybe some orange juice…?"

"Freshly squeezed?"

"…Ah… I'm not that talented…" He plunged the pan into the icy tap water, and began to scrub off the grease.

"Seishin… You haven't made one for yourself." This was Toshio, now.

It was then that he noticed Sunako's presence. She had moved herself from the living room sofa, to Seishin's side. "Seishin… I feel tired." He took her smaller hand in his own.

"…I'll go tuck her in… And then…" He didn't quite finish that thought. He'd led Sunako back up the alternate, semi-circular staircase.

He'd left the doctor alone to his thoughts. Seishin's demeanor in itself was unsettling. He'd changed a bit in four years. Had learned to cook, among other things. He had his own house. That was one. Perhaps he'd been expecting the old Seishin. The one who couldn't cook, or clean, who'd leaned so heavily on Toshio.

"Hey, Toshio, um… My girlfriend is picking me up soon… So, uh… You need to find a ride back… Or… The bus gets here at six, if you'd like…"

"What happened to the group that was supposed to pick us up?"

"Oh. Sierra decided that she'd rather sleep in, and go to a movie instead. So… Yeah."

"…So, I suppose I'm stranded…" He sighed.

"Yeah. Uh, sorry." He slid his plate to Toshio. "Um… Yeah. Do you know where I can put this?"

"…No…"

"…Oh. Um, this got awkward really fast." Toshio had continued staring at the staircase.

"…Yeah."

"Oh. My ride is here, um… See you later?"

"Sure."

His roommate had left, and Toshio wasn't sure what to say to Seishin. It had seemed so different. The human Seishin wouldn't have worn aprons, or even have cooked up nice omelets for that matter. He'd grown in four years.

Perhaps he'd half-expected Seishin to have been frozen.

But then, Seishin wouldn't have made a good father. Perhaps that was what he saw himself as now.

"…Toshio… Are you done?" He'd walked into the kitchen, Toshio's eyes on him.

"Hm…? Oh… Yeah." He slid his plate to the end of the counter. "…Hey Seishin, where did you learn how to cook?"

"Just the television." The jinrou picked the plate up, and set it in the sink.

"Oh. And the hair?"

"…I'm not sure what you mean…"

"I'm sorry." The doctor had gotten up, and walked around to Seishin. He placed his hands on top of Seishin's, and moved them away from the plate. The other man had been shocked by this, and suddenly slid his hands away.

"…I know…"

"Then, why haven't you called back?"

"…What about the other guy?"

"He's gone. "

"Oh… Do you need a ride back…?" Seishin dried his hands on the small towel next to the sink. Toshio followed suit.

"Seishin… You don't have to move, if… I was the reason…"

"No." He said this firmly. "Would you like a ride back?"

"…Yeah… Let me get my stuff…" He had mumbled this. Down the hallway again. He'd noticed the décor, this time around. It was nice. And functional.

Seishin had his keys in his hand. There was a little keychain around them, something that was meant to resemble a fish. "Ready?"

"Yeah… This is a nice house…"

"Oh… Thank you…" He'd edged away from Toshio a little. "…The garage is out front… It's separate from the main house…"

Toshio nodded. He'd let Seishin lead him again, mostly out of convenience. It was a nice house. "Hey, Seishin?"

"…Yes…?"

"…Do you ever get lonely?"

"No." Seishin apparently tired of Toshio's questions. Or, perhaps he was tired of Toshio. He'd wordlessly brought Toshio to his car. It was a nice silvery color. More modern than the car Toshio had had, back in Sotoba.

"You're still wearing the apron…"

"…Oh… I must not have…" Seishin's hands went to his back, fumbling with the little ribbon there.

"No… It's fine… You're just dropping me off, anyways…" He sighed, and pulled out a cigarette, and then climbed into the passenger seat. He'd offered Seishin a cigarette as well, knowing that he'd decline.

It was mostly a quiet ride. They'd avoided major traffic, taken scenic routes. Tall trees. None of them had been firs. The clock had ticked away, and Seishin hadn't seemed to mind. Why would he? He had all the time he needed.

"…Toshio, you need to give me directions now…" The doctor had reached for the radio, then hesitated.

"…When did you learn how to drive?"

"I took a class… Sunako was the one to suggest it…" He'd brushed the hair out of his face. His hand then found the radio dial. Pressed the button.

"You like music, now?"

"…"

"Left here." He'd rubbed his forehead. "Seishin…I…I'm sorry."

"…" Seishin had pulled into the parking lot. "Is this it?"

"…Yeah…" He'd gathered his belongings, and gotten out. "…Actually, do you want something to eat? You haven't had anything…"

"…No… I'm fine…" He'd started the ignition again.

"…Tea?" The ignition had died down.

"…" Seishin had gotten out. Perhaps he'd known that Toshio wouldn't leave him alone.

He'd followed Toshio up the stairwell, to the first floor. It was a small, grey, splintering door. To be contrasted with Seishin's crystalline ones. Toshio had retrieved the key from the potted plant next to the door, then allowed himself in. He'd looked perplexed to see Seishin standing in the doorway. "Oh… Right… Come in. Please."

"…It's nice…" Seishin was in the fold of the apartment now, uncomfortably leaning on one of the maroon walls.

"…Right. It's like the thing we had in college."

"Three tatami rooms?"

"Two bedrooms. It's actually smaller." Toshio had half-laughed at this. "Why don't you come sit down?"

"I… I have some errands to run… Maybe another time?"

Toshio had looked sternly at Seishin. "…You just got here though…" He'd walked back to the door. "Probably should close this… At least, it'll keep you in."

"…"

"It was a joke, Seishin." Toshio had said this, despite the fact that he was standing in the doorway.

"…Maybe… I'll just go… I need to finish the manuscript…"

"…Seishin… If… If you don't want to see me…" Seishin had turned to leave (as Toshio assumed,) Toshio still between Seishin and the door. He had found the collision between them inevitable, though it had seemed to shock Seishin. What had happened next, however, had struck the doctor as odd.

He'd felt hands on his back, being pulled forward by Seishin. Then he'd felt Seishin's lips on his own. The initial shock fading, his hands had found their way to the neat little knot on Seishin's apron, and then undid that, feeling the fabric slide to the floor. His lips gave way to Seishin's tongue, the sensation not entirely unpleasant.

His hands then worked their way to Seishin's pants, fingers underneath, lightly groping him there. He'd felt warm, Seishin's hands were tugging at his shirt off. Seishin had broken the kiss, leaning heavily into Toshio. Toshio pulled Seishin closer to him, and began to kiss him again.

Seishin had pulled away, and had mumbled something like "…I'm sorry." He'd walked past Toshio this time, out the door, back to his car. Away from Rochester.

Toshio had been frozen, apparently just as confused as Seishin had been. He hadn't had time to think, when Seishin had walked out his front door. And he hadn't been sure whether to go after him, or leave him be.

Perhaps it would have been different if he hadn't felt Seishin's fangs in his mouth, a growing hardness against his body. Seishin's angular body against his own. It made him feel lightheaded. So, he settled on the couch, hand loosely clutching phone. He wasn't quite sure what to do next.


	7. Ozaki Toshio Chapter 4: Dark Blue

A\N: Eh. Toshio is so inept with women; in other news… I found this super cute fanart of Toshio, Seishin and Sunako, and was like "I'M NOT ALONE." It just gave me more drive to do this next chapter. Also, though Toshio thinks of Sunako as Sunako, he calls her Kirishiki, to put more distance between them.

He felt leery. He was up against the park bench, cigarette sliding out of trembling fingers. Even his own wife had made him uncomfortable… But then again, dead women weren't supposed to crawl up underneath the sheets of your bed. He'd given Seishin a garbled message at best; in hindsight, Seishin's silence was predictable.

It had taken him a full day to make his next move. But, it had been too predictable, and Seishin had doled out an excuse to avoid him. The doctor had called Seishin's home; which wasn't easy to find, only to be ridiculed by Sunako. He'd somehow convinced her to meet him half-way, in some intermediary town. Perhaps he'd felt that way too, once. Like there was nothing but Sotoba. And he'd been fine with that. That had been the difference between him and Seishin.

He tightened the scarf around his neck. Another present from Seishin. Thirty four, in some cosmic sense was equivalent to an accessory. He mused with the possibility, thirty seven probably meant something equally trivial; perhaps a new pack of cigarettes. But he hadn't given Seishin anything in a long time.

The snow had made things harder.

And, as expected, she wouldn't allow him to have the upper hand. It was nighttime, and that had made things hard enough—he didn't have any reason to kill her. That would just be justification for anything that Seishin would have done to him after. He felt cornered; he could have easily pressured Seishin into an answer. But, she was another case, entirely.

He slid over, unsure of what to expect. Perhaps her relative ease with the situation should have been indicative of something.

"Kirishiki."

"Ozaki." She quietly regarded him, before offering him her unused parasol. He declined, and settled for pulling his hood up. She was wearing an airy dress. Perhaps it was nice to be able to disregard the cold.

"…Um… Thanks…" He shifted his position a bit, mostly to deter unwanted attention.

"Ozaki. This is pitiful." Her size made her words more biting.

"…I don't really know what you mean by that…"

"I used to fear you. You're just a sad old man now." She giggled a little bit, then slid over to him, perhaps in full knowledge of how uncomfortable this made him. "You want Seishin, because you have nobody else."

He had finally lost the battle, and dropped the cigarette. Frayed nerves couldn't handle wild accusations. "…I… have no wife." He said finally. "I don't know what else to do… If it at least makes up for a little bit of it…"

"Are you still a doctor? Or, has it become a bad joke as well?"

"Dr. Toshio Ozaki. It has a ring to it, doesn't it?" He dropped his head into his palms. "…It was my father's idea. Maybe I'm still living in his shadow."

She had said it anyway, "Why Seishin?" Perhaps that had just rubbed salt in his wound.

"I have no wife." He said again. "Seishin was closer than Kyouko was. It felt right, somehow."

"Seishin did tell me to pass on a message."

"Hm?" He'd turned to face her. He was thirty six. Four years too late for Seishin.

"He said good-bye." She was looking at the horizon now. "Ozaki… Is Acapulco any different?"

The wind had been utterly knocked out of him. "…Acapulco, Mexico?"

"Yes. That's the one." She was surprised by what had happened next. She took his large hand in two of her own. "Do you think it'll be pretty?"

"Damn gorgeous." He exhaled deeply. "…He's really going?"

"Dead-set on it. It's difficult to change his mind now. Especially when his decisions are based on matters regarding you." He withdrew his hand from hers. The chilly palms did nothing for the mild case of frostbite that he'd diagnosed himself with.

"Why me?"

"He was right." She stood up, and turned to leave.

"You just got here. And you still haven't answered my question." He'd reached for her sleeve, but had quickly retracted his hand; it had gotten him in a mess last time.

"Death is especially terrible, Ozaki." There was a hint of a smile on her face.

"Is that meant to be a threat?"

She pursed her lips. "No. It's not. It's been more than twenty years, and you still don't understand."

He stood up, aware of the attention he was receiving. "Then, help me. I asked for your help, because I can't do anything else."

"You're late, Ozaki. He's long gone." She had taken a step forward, then added "…I don't want him to leave either."

"Oh?"

"Why _did _you call me here, anyway?"

"You ask that now?" He sat back down on the bench. "…I called Seishin a monster, then he kissed me two days later. I'm not sure what to do anymore."

She had a hint of anger in her voice. "And he was right about that too. You'll never get over the fact that he's a jinrou."

"He's playing human."

"And you still fall for the charade." She sat back down, and took a deep breath. "There will be a time… When his physical age is no longer applicable. It's not too far in the future, Ozaki."

He reclined against the wood. "I know that… And… I… I don't see him like the rest of you."

"Because you still think of him as the temple priest."

"Is it wrong?"

"He was never that person, Ozaki." She sighed. Perhaps it was pity that drove her now. She gave him the umbrella. "It's a loan."

He nodded, the implications in his mind. "Why?"

"Because I hate sad, old men." She stood up, and took his face in her hands. "I need a meal."

"…Whatever you'd like." It was resigned. He dropped his head back, a nausea when she had bit into his neck. Perhaps he would have preferred Seishin. Then again, Seishin wouldn't have done it. Even before everything. "Kirishiki… Can you answer a question for me?"

She pulled away from his neck, having consumed a menial amount. Seishin wouldn't be pleased. But he wouldn't do anything about it. "…Go on."

"…Why?"

"Why not?"


	8. Ozaki Kyouko Interlude: Ion Displacement

A\N: So, the last chapter of Shiki? Seishin's new fashion sense is rather interesting. P': And, because I listen to a certain song by Vampire Weekend _way_ too much. And, because Sandrine is probably quite right about this needing to be from Kyouko's perspective; coupled with the fact that I only recently had the revelation that _Kyouko probably didn't even know that she was Shiki, _she just woke up to her husband killing her.

Because she was reading a book. _His _book, no less. Of course Toshio hadn't finished it—though he still slept with it under his pillow, _intending _to finish it eventually. He hadn't gotten very far. He'd just replaced the newspaper slip he'd used as a bookmark with the nice maple-leaf one that he'd gotten. But he still hadn't read any of the text in the book.

It was released in tandem with an article speculating the existence of _real _Shiki, as they had found a less-than-human corpse. But it had been burned; the book quickly vanished from public opinion, and the article ridiculed on the net. Of course, neither of these things mattered much to him. She flirted with the possibility. If he'd become a Shiki instead? Would he have taken his own life?

No. Because he probably wouldn't have known what he was. So, it was her fault. Or rather, the teeth that lay heavy in her mouth after her second death. And that was it. Red eyes, black eyes. The priest had them as well. But that didn't stop the doctor, did it?

She'd set the book down. It was well-written, as Toshio had told her. And, it was unpleasant. But, Toshio couldn't read into the symbolism. Maybe if he had, the entire ordeal would have ended sooner. And she wouldn't have played the fool. He might have loved her once. But she'd always suspected ulterior motives. Though… The kiss, that was nice. It was her last. And then he'd killed her.

She'd loved him once. But that had ended. There was no child. He'd called it unexplained infertility, but perhaps an incorrect diagnosis on his part. He'd been leading the priest along as well. And they'd tired of it. So, that night, at the altar, that had been something. Something better left unfinished. Because they were both hopelessly in love with a man who was unable to see that. They'd let it out. He still hadn't noticed either of them.

So, it was more pity than anything. Because the other man had suffered in the same prison. Self-exile perhaps wasn't worth it. How would Toshio react to that?

It wasn't his fault, after all. And he'd left anyway. But, what else could he do. They were like children, gathering around him. Greedy little things. So, he'd left. But, where else could he have gone? He couldn't rebuild a village. Especially one that had already been so thoroughly broken before.

He'd been so thoroughly frightened by her, the first time. It was pathetic. He'd killed her without hesitation before. Maybe, it was because of her. And the book. He'd begun his _hunt _around then. But, the priest had been long gone.

The apartment was empty, as it would be for a while; it was being fumigated, though such things failed to unsettle her. He'd come home, mere hours before, to find his roommate with his half-packed bags in his hand, and a goofy expression to suit. _Sorry. Must have forgotten to tell you, but I found this rodent, and we can't come back for a week. Oh, I also packed your bags, because, I wanted to borrow that shirt you had, and… um, I couldn't find it. _

Kyouko had meant to tell him something before he left. Something along the lines of _'Don't be stupid.' _But, the advice was going to be ignored—he'd done the same thing on their first date. Not that she minded. Though the jinrou was different.

And apparently he'd go sleep on the park bench. Because he was smart enough to know better. If he'd wanted to stay with the priest, he should have just slit both his wrists. He wouldn't have been able to resist Toshio then.

Why was he doing this to himself? Perhaps he should have just gone back to Sotoba. The people there were at least more overt. When it came to Toshio, anyway. She had gotten up now, gone to the window. Ten thousand city lights. Millions of people underneath each one. And he'd chosen that priest.

Maybe she should have told him, after all. Toshio might have needed it. But then again, tomorrow was a new day. And neither of them was bound by the constraints that they'd been given in Sotoba.

She sighed. She wouldn't tell him after all. He'd just have to figure it out for himself. The cute little priest had tried to kill himself when the doctor was gone. And it was all his fault. And then he'd tried to get rid of Toshio. That had worked out spectacularly… Until he'd appeared in Duluth. They had grown apart, hadn't they?

Why was Toshio trying so hard? The other man had finally gotten his peace. And it'd be shattered. Because, to be different from them was the same as treason. And by nature, loving another man was an act that was too far astray.

In fact, she wouldn't have been surprised if she'd found him dangling from a tree. But then, he'd probably have put himself there.

In the end, Abel had left. And Cain had grown. There was no epilogue, was there? Because the little one was fine without one.


	9. Muroi Seishin Chapter 3: Sump

A\N: I was actually thinking about titling this chapter 'My Night with the Prostitute from Marseille' because that was what I was listening to for a majority of this. In fact, I've actually listened to Beirut while writing a majority of this. FACT LEARNED. P': ALSOALSOALSO, when I mention a greenbelt in here, I'm not actually 100% sure about the privatization of land on Lake Superior… or rather, the areas allotted for home development So… I wasn't quite sure how far Seishin would actually be from Sky Harbor, this is just to make the distance more ambiguous; so please don't read into that too literally. Seishin is slightly more open here, because he's a jinrou, and because he didn't think he'd ever run into Toshio again. And, no I am not really happy with the symmetry of this story (or at least the relationships in it.) P': The word interlude is apparently not synonymous with break… I couldn't leave it hanging there…

He felt so utterly foolish, staring at himself in the mirror. There was something comical about it all. Women's underwear hadn't taken away the awkward angles of his body. There was a layer of muscle on his body. Apparently this was attractive. Though _Toshio _wouldn't notice. His hands stopped when they'd reached the scar on his abdomen. That was from Sotoba. The knife had sunken in, and had luckily missed his internal organs. It felt strange, touching the old wound, there was some bitter nostalgia left. Ultimately, he'd forgotten about it, it was usually underneath a shirt.

It wasn't the underwear, it was him. His body didn't mesh with the frill, the lace, the ribbons. And he'd bought it anyway, at the urging of his editor. His editor was a nice man; though often misguided. But he was one of the few that Seishin had confided in. Maybe because his editor had asked. And so, it was after two cups of coffee, then a nice tiramisu that his editor had suggested it. It seemed like an idea enough at the time. Though he felt entirely pins-and-needles underneath it. His hands instinctively went to the underwear, covering the large lump underneath it.

Perhaps it was precisely for that reason that he had never thought of himself as a valid contender for Toshio's affections. Being a priest hadn't helped any. Neither had the recent events. That little part of his conscious that had wanted to come crying back to Toshio had spoken up then.

It had told him to come clean. Pick up the phone on the nightstand, dial the number. Then what? What would he say? _Hi, Toshio. I know we've been in a weird situation… But, um… Listen… I love you. I have loved you for a while. _That had brought a caustic laugh to his throat. Maybe even _Toshio… um, remember how I kissed you? I was wondering if we could finish that….? _This was even funnier than the first. In the best interest of coming clean, why not just go ahead and divulge everything? _...Hey, Toshio, when we were in High School, I never fantasized about any of the girls in our grade. When we were talking about them, and I was blushing, I was thinking about you licking frosting off my body. _But, that wasn't enough, was it? _Oh, after you got married, I slept with your wife, because I thought it'd be like sleeping with you. By the way, I also slept with that nice lecture professor we had in freshman year, both of the roommates we had, a couple of the temple workers, the x-ray specialist that your father hired, two men that I met in a bar, the bartender, and Tatsumi. Yes, Kirishiki, Tatsumi. Isn't that a funny story? _This was probably the funniest of all. No, he couldn't stop laughing. Probably because Toshio would hit him again. But then again, Toshio was dense.

He felt disgusted with himself for thinking such thoughts, it wasn't Toshio's fault. It was his own. He still lived beneath fir trees, despite the fact that he'd hired contractors to root them out from the surrounding areas. The world was still a walking graveyard. And for four years, he'd been content, living among the graves. Maybe because he'd found a little rose growing around his own tombstone. Then Toshio had come along again.

When he was younger, he'd lived out fantasies, despite the fact that they'd been so utterly twisted. Perhaps seen as wrong by the moral majority. He wasn't _wrong _for loving Toshio, just… He was just… It was strange. He could freely admit that now, mostly-naked, except for frilly womens' underwear, and a pair of matching socks. He loved Toshio. Toshio Ozaki. The heartbreakingly handsome doctor who'd also happened to be his oldest childhood friend. Toshio who'd always been so outspoken; had vigorously championed their ideals. He'd followed that Toshio around, like a dog. That was funny too. He literally was one now, or at least, his species had been given that name. It wasn't so hard to start loving Toshio again. Toshio had simply walked in, and that had been it. It hadn't helped that Toshio was charismatic. Or beautiful.

Maybe he would call Toshio. He felt lightheaded, and had collapsed on the bed. The empty bottle of Cherbourg wasn't key enough to stop. Maybe he'd let himself slip back into his adolescent fantasies, which usually ended with a ring on his finger, and Toshio in a white tuxedo. He hadn't actually gotten married in one; which was perhaps as equally hilarious. He'd walked away queasy, when Toshio had kissed his wife, had looked genuinely happy. He'd even gone back to the hotel room, and thrown up; perhaps that had more to do with all the alcohol he'd consumed afterwards.

Which did nothing to ease his self-contempt. He needed… To talk to someone. Preferably neither Toshio, nor Sunako. His editor was a nice man. And seemed to like Seishin. Which was perhaps the best reason for his next actions.

Because his editor was neither Toshio, nor Sunako. It wasn't that he couldn't talk to Sunako about it… She probably didn't understand… Nor would Toshio… If anything, he'd probably pretend to do so. And he didn't want to talk to Toshio; not after he'd been hit, then seemingly ridiculed.

There was one ring on the other end of the receiver. Then a second. Then an answer. "Hello?"

"Ah… Hello… I'm sorry I'm calling so early but…."

"Seishin? Is that you? It's seven in the morning; that isn't _too _early." Then a laugh. "Why are you calling anyway? Is it the manuscript? Or…"

"No… It's… The other thing…"

"Oh. Did you tell him?"

"…Ah… No… It's just… I wouldn't… It didn't work out; your advice. I tried it on, but it looked a bit awkward…" He paused. He did sound nervous.

"Oh, well, we'll keep trying right?" Seishin could almost hear the big, goofy grin on the other end of the phone. "Actually, you have nice, delicate hands. You should try fake nails, like the kind with the little cherry blossoms on them. They'd probably look good on you."

"…Ah… Yeah. Actually… I had a question."

"Already? It hasn't been a day yet." His editor chuckled. "Well, go ahead."

"That is… I don't… What should I do… I…"

Seishin's editor interrupted him. "Stop doing this to yourself. You're fantastic. And if he doesn't see that, screw him. He's probably not right for you."

"…I… I don't know if…"

"Seishin. Go outside. Take a walk. Clear your head; you probably feel a bit sluggish or something. I personally don't know what you see in this guy, if he hit you, and he didn't get anything from the kiss. Or, from those twenty years you spent with him. If you'd like, I'll talk to him about it… Make him feel more comfortable with the idea…"

"Ah… Maybe… But… Are you okay with it?"

"Yeah. My younger brother was like that too. And he's happily married in Argentina."

"Oh… I'll take a walk… If that's okay…"

"Seishin."

"…Yes?"

"Next time, just text me. Then we can meet up somewhere." The phone line went dead.

Taking a walk wasn't such a bad idea. Sky Harbor was relatively nearby, maybe he could just go there. Talk with some of the nice sailing aficionados, then avoid cooking for himself. That got dull after a while. He pulled on the pants he'd left on the floor, the night before, then the grey panda shirt that Sunako insisted that he buy. Why not just leave the underwear on? It wasn't like anyone was going to notice. And he lacked the motivation to put on another pair. He pulled the sweatshirt over his head, the leather jacket over it. He slid his cellphone into his back pocket. Apparently forty-six missed calls, twelve texts, and eight new voicemail messages. All from the same number. That was indicative of Toshio's own ignorance, he hadn't tuned in to the fact that Seishin was disregarding him for a reason.

He'd become accustomed to the cold; not that jinrou were particularly susceptible to any winter-related symptoms, the snow had just made things that much harder. It was beautiful, nonetheless, a fresh coat had caked Duluth the previous night, the second snowfall of the season. The first being the night before the last one, in which both he and Sunako had stood by the patio door, drinking hot chocolate and watching it pile on itself. She'd left soon after, presumably to discuss things with Toshio. He'd honestly tried to talk her out of it. But her determination often beat out his own. So she went. And came back safely. Which was enough. Acapulco would have been lonely without her. And he'd have to settle a score with Toshio if he had done anything.

He'd pulled on the brown boots, opting for the water-proof coating. Admittedly, he preferred walking in the greenbelt between his own house and Sky Harbor. He'd quickly learned how to navigate it, which in itself wasn't a terribly great accomplishment. It had made him feel more at home with the place. Walking in the sparse foliage just made him calmer, somehow. He had felt irritable, when Toshio was concerned; somewhat better when he was by himself, or with Sunako.

He had been sorely tempted to crawl into the large hole in the white pine, and meditate there. He'd done it before. But there was a compulsion that drove him to Sky Harbor. Perhaps to skip rocks, as he often did. A certain sailing buff had showed him how to do it, after which the two of them had sat there, chatting about largely inconsequential things for a while. He hadn't seen him since. But, there was no harm in talking to him, was there?

He'd picked out a snow-covered flat rock, then brushed the white powder off with his hands, before shoving it in his pocket. That was a good release. Tossing them as far as he could. But as far as he could was never far enough.

When he'd made it to Sky Harbor, he'd found his preferred bench occupied, a sleeping bag caked in snow. It apparently held a slumbering person, though Seishin wasn't quite sure why anyone would be daft enough to sleep out there, in the winter. Minnesota was the snowiest state in the Union. Sleeping bags didn't protect from terrible frostbite. There was a smaller suitcase next to the figure, a familiar parasol stacked on top of it.

Could he have just pretended to ignore it? Snatch the parasol after the frostbite had set in? Or maybe he'd have to wear the porcelain smile again. Pretend that he was happy with a consolation prize. He had turned his back to Toshio, he'd assumed that Toshio hadn't quite seen him yet. Or, he'd assumed it was Toshio. Maybe this was the reason for the calls. He'd apparently been evicted, and hadn't had the common sense to find a hotel. Or a bed and breakfast. Or something. He'd cast a quick glance at Toshio, before realizing that Toshio was staring at him, blankly. Then… The conversation that had ensued.

"…S…eishin?" he said it weakly, overcome with fatigue.

"…" He hadn't said anything. Had remained perfectly still. But Toshio wasn't a velociraptor. He'd eventually have to turn around. There was a careful moment of silence, the rock in his hand thudding against the ground. Seishin looked back at Toshio.

"…Hey." He had a smile on his face. Perhaps, that would have been painful to pull off.

"…Why are you…?"

"Apartment… Seishin… My face hurts. Maybe later…" He brought his hand to his face, with a painful jerk, wincing slightly as he did so. A tear had been frozen on his cheek.

"So, you slept out here? Toshio… Why didn't you…?" His hands went to his forehead.

"…Called. Light fire?"

"That's illegal… Aah… Toshio… Would you just like to…" He'd already reached out, Toshio's hand in his own lukewarm one.

"…Okay. I can't get up… I..." He'd tried to move around, though only managed a slight jerk.

Seishin sighed again, he was kneeling now. He'd begun to shift Toshio out of the sleeping bag, though it proved to be a difficult task. When he'd managed to get his acquaintance out of the polystyrene, a group of children had gathered around them. He'd chuckled at this, and politely told them off.

Toshio's cheeks red from the snow, his hands and feet numb. Seishin brought him to a seated position, Toshio silent all the while. When he began to move Toshio onto his back, the doctor began to object. "…Don't, Seishin… I…"

Seishin had said nothing all the while. There was a certain intimacy about it. Toshio slumped against Seishin's back, as he would be if they ever…. Well… No, it was better not to think about that. He'd grabbed Toshio's suitcase, and began dragging that too.

Despite the objections he'd had in his head, he'd ended up walking back to the house. As they'd neared the greenbelt, he'd realized that it wasn't the first time that he'd had to bring Toshio back home. They were ten once. And Toshio had gotten hopelessly lost in the forest that the Muroi temple bordered. Seishin had found him behind a tree, trembling. Then, he'd had to carry Toshio back.

"…Seishin?"

"Toshio... Don't strain yourself. Frostbite isn't exactly pleasant." This was an excuse. He had no desire to talk to Toshio. Much less anything else. Seishin had half a mind to dump the _good _doctor in Lake Superior. Could Toshio swim? Did it matter?

But he didn't. He'd brought Toshio home. He dumped the suitcase next to the door. Then he'd carried Toshio upstairs, and set him down in his own bathtub. Toshio had looked so confused. Seishin had managed a blush, before switching on the faucets. The other man was still fully clothed, perhaps the reason for his confusion.

"You can… Ah, that is … Use some of my clothes…"

Toshio nodded, and Seishin left him alone. He'd settled for reading a book on the couch outside. The doctor still owed him an explanation. And two pairs of clothes. Maybe he'd ask Toshio to kiss him. As if. He'd say something pleasant. Then send Toshio on his way. He was irritated with Toshio. And himself. Himself for not quite being honest, Toshio for making it much harder. He didn't want to speak to Toshio. Toshio had hit him, and effectively called him a monster.

Though he liked himself better this way (not that this mattered, in the least, to Toshio.) He had made it half-way through the book, before realizing the weight of the symbolism. It was quite unpleasant, in the fact that the characters had become wildly wealthy. And beautiful. And then it had just fallen apart. So, quite naturally, he liked it. And perhaps would read it to Sunako later.

Seishin had counted a half an hour before Toshio had made it out of the bathroom. He'd picked out a cozy sweater, which in Seishin's mind, looked perfectly natural on Toshio.

"So… You're reading?" Seishin nodded at this. "Is it a good book?"

"Yes." He set it down on the couch, and eased back into it. "…And the bench?"

"Oh. Right. The apartment's getting fumigated." Toshio was on Seishin's bed now. "I need a place to stay for a week."

"…Are there no hotels?"

"Dunno. I honestly wasn't thinking. I just got frostnip anyways." He shrugged, nonchalantly. He scratched the back of his neck. "Uh… Thanks, Seishin. If you hadn't done that…"

"…" Toshio was a doctor. He should have known better. Then again, he still smoked.

"I'm sorry. I really am. I know you're tired of hearing this… I mean… You don't pick up the phone… And you don't…"

"Toshio… I'm just tired…" He sighed a little bit. Then came the passive pleasantness that had constituted much of his actions. Of course Toshio was too daft to notice this. "…Hot Chocolate?"

"…Actually, Seishin… I have a favor to ask of you…"

"Yes?"

"Can I stay over? At least until my apartment is done… The guys at work said that I can take a few days off…"

Seishin contemplated this. He'd offer Toshio his own bed. Sleep in the couch next to it. He shook his head. "…I…I'm jinrou."

"That doesn't matter." Toshio got up, and sat next to Seishin. "…I was wrong about that."

"…Toshio… Please… I'm sorry."

The doctor looked at Seishin once more. "...One day?"

"…Toshio…" Seishin knew he was going to regret his decision. Even more so with Sunako bearing over him. She wasn't particularly a fan. Nor could she quite stand having him around for dinner. "…Will you try that again?"

"No. And I'll try and keep out of your way."

"…Toshio…"

"Yes?"

"…Ah… It was just… Nothing."

Toshio had frowned. "You aren't wearing glasses."

Seishin's hands went to his face. "Oh… I don't need them… She just said that…"

"Oh. Is that because…?"

"Yes." He'd gotten up now, and had moved to leave.

"Hey, Seishin… Do you know of any gyms in this area?"

"No." He hadn't bothered to ask Toshio why he needed one.

But Toshio continued to tell him anyway. "…Well, I was thinking about working out…"

Seishin sighed. "…Will you help me put chains on my car?" No use in having Toshio sit around. He could at least make himself useful.

"Sure." And then "…Wait… How do you do that?"


	10. Kirishiki Sunako Chapter 2: Silhouettes

A\N: I'd like to point out that the title was taken from the lovely Go Periscope song 'Escape the Season.' Go Periscope has actually been Sunako's thematic music thus far. And since we're talking about songs here… Actually, the Cherbourg mentioned in the last chapter was indeed a reference to one of the songs I was listening to… Though, it is also a (relatively cheap) French wine. Actually, two of the songs (Cherbourg and Cliquot) are French wines… On that album anyways, because "The Flying Club Cup" was apparently about French culture. P': Yes. Drink named after song named after drink. Confusing enough? Maybe. But, my chumhandle is voltAge. So if you have pesterchum, feel free to add me to your chumroll. Long author's note is long.

She was displeased, as Seishin had predicted she would be. She'd been entirely discontent with his presence. Ozaki had noticed this, and had shifted the conversation away from her, expecting Seishin to talk with him. Though, he was wrong on that count. Seishin had been forcing his current expression. Ozaki hadn't noticed this.

The wineglass in front of her was empty; there was no need to wonder why. Seishin had cast a sharp glance at her. There was an unused can of tomato juice in front of her. She'd plucked it out of the fridge to spite Ozaki, though he didn't seem to mind. Or notice.

She was no longer scared of Ozaki; he had done this to his own stature. If anything, she was angry. Perhaps at herself,

He was thoroughly complacent with the miso Seishin had given him. Which was exactly why she hated him so much. She and Seishin had agreed that Sotoba was, indeed painful. But such a shared experience had brought them closer. There was no such similarity with Ozaki.

She was tempted to bite him again—not to displease Seishin, of course. Just to set Ozaki at relative settled for biting her tongue instead, wincing slightly as she did so. She hadn't expected Ozaki to notice this, being as fixated on Seishin as he was.

"… Are you… okay?"

"What?" Her displeasure lay heavy in her voice.

"Are you okay?"

"Do you honestly care?" She looked at Seishin, he stared back, looking mortified. What did he expect? Yes, the parasol was an open invitation. To talk things over with Seishin, prevent him from leaving. The doctor wasn't supposed to pretend that he had cordial relations with her, or make cracks about shared beds, not knowing how deeply such things hurt Seishin.

"…Sunako…" This came from Seishin now. "…" She pulled away from the table. Better just avoid Ozaki altogether, was it?

"Sunako…" She frowned.

"Seishin…" He still had his horrified expression on.

"…Sunako… That isn't…" He shook his head, and ran a hand through his hair.

She wordlessly left the table, both Ozaki's and Seishin's eyes still on her. She thought it was interesting. Ozaki seemed less upset than Seishin.

"I'm… I'm sorry… That's… not…" Seishin had gotten up as well, presumably to go after her.

"No. It's fine… My question was a formality anyways…" Ozaki rubbed the back of his neck; she was still watching them from the hallway. "Are you…?"

"…Ah… Yeah… I'll be back in a bit…" He followed her out into the hallway, leaving Ozaki with a plate of half-eaten miso in front of him.

"Sunako… You can't just…" He frowned, looking for the right words.

"…Why not? In the end, we're just wretched creatures, are we not?"

He sighed. "…Sunako… That is…"

"Then are we not? Wretched creatures, I mean." She stared at him, he shied away from that gaze.

"I… I don't know…"

"Seishin… Are you still… With Ozaki?"

"…Sunako… That doesn't mean anything… In the end…" He sighed. "Toshio isn't going to live forever."

She shifted her gaze from Seishin to the column behind him. "But… You're still…"

"Sunako… That's a difficult question." He had avoided a direct answer once again. "I can… kick him out, if you'd like…"

He'd tried to shift the topic away from her; though unsuccessfully. "But you won't."

"Please… Not now…" He shifted uncomfortably.

"Is… that what you want? Sleeping on the far edge of your own bed, because you don't want Ozaki to know?"

"I… wasn't going to use the same bed…" He began to look at the floorboards, uncomfortable with the general direction of the conversation.

"Seishin… I… don't want you to get hurt."

"I'm still… not entirely happy with his presence…" It was a feeble answer.

She frowned. "Do you want me to tell him…?"

"No." The response was quick.

"Seishin… You can't do this to yourself… At least _tell _him…" She then added "Or… make him leave. I don't like this feeling… Especially not in our own house."

"He asked for a day." Seishin said it quietly.

She smirked. "Ask him for the night."

Seishin looked aghast. "Sunako… You can't just…!"

"It's what you want, isn't it?"

He sighed. So, that was how she was going to accomplish it. Make him feel uneasy with the prospect. Then, obviously, he'd be forced to kick Toshio out. "…"

"I'm sorry… I didn't mean…"

"I know… I… I… just don't know what to…" He was met with an embrace, Sunako's head resting on Seishin's midsection.

"Seishin?"

"Yes?"

"I… don't want to leave."

"I know."

"Will we?"

He thought for a while, not quite sure what to say. "Sunako…"

"Seishin… I… don't like Ozaki very much. But… That's not a reason to leave Duluth."

He pulled her closer to his body, his grip tightening. "…Sunako… he'll be gone in the morning." She nodded, and broke from the hug. She left them there, opting to use the television in the basement. By doing so, she knew she had lost control of the situation. Despite Seishin's stated intent, she knew she would have to deal with Ozaki the following night.


	11. Ozaki Toshio Chapter 5: Daisies

A\N: Ok. So it took me a while to get back to this. I blame LoZ: OoT 3D for being an ample distraction. But now that I am in the water temple, I have lost all incentive to go forward. The water temple is hell. And, not knowing what to write next may have been a big part of this. METRO SKiiES helped me quite a bit with this. So, this chapter wouldn't exist without her.

He had woken up earlier than usual, which he'd attributed to Seishin's presence. In the end, he convinced the other man to sleep on the same bed, not wanting to be too much of a burden. So, naturally it had been relatively warm for most of the night. He'd awoken when he felt a chill from the combination of Seishin's absence and the wind blowing through an open window.

He shut the window sluggishly, rubbing his eyes as he did so. The clock on the nightstand read 6:35, far too early to be up. He found he'd taken shifts that began later and later in the day, unable to get up quite as early as he had before.

He sighed and dragged himself down the stairs, knowing that he wouldn't be able to fall back asleep. Seishin was probably making breakfast. Or cleaning or something. And Toshio had nothing better to do, than to help him.

When he did make it down the stairs, he found Seishin neither cleaning nor cooking. Instead, Seishin sat at the edge of the sliding patio door, very calmly reading to a large cat. The doctor felt the color drain from his face. It looked menacing, even as it was sitting on Seishin's lap, staring at pictures. He blinked once, hoping that the animal was a result of one too many cigarettes or some equally terrible mid-life crisis type situation. The cat remained on Seishin's lap, gently nudging at the book, tail flicking across Seishin's chest.

"I'm almost done with this page, just one more sentence, okay?" He had a faint smile as he said this, eyes half-closed. The cat licked his face, as if an apology for earlier behavior.

Toshio tried not to make any sudden movements, hoping he could get to the kitchen before either Seishin or the cat-beast noticed him. He made it to the fridge, before he'd stepped on a squeaky floorboard. The animal's ears perked at the sound. It nuzzled Seishin's neck, in an attempt to get him to turn around.

"Oh… Yes. I know he's back there. Don't worry about it…"

It looked at him, and he stared back for a good half-minute. It was… a bobcat, wasn't it? His roommate had showed him a picture of one… And… They were supposedly dangerous. He flinched, when he thought the bobcat glared at him.

He took a deep breath. "Seishin… That's a wild animal, isn't it…?"

"Yes… Well… No. He's tame…" The other man took one of the cat's paws into his hands, delicately touching the pads on the underside. When the bobcat's claws extended, he added "… I think…"

"That's not very reassuring…" Toshio sighed, and helped himself to a half-empty milk carton on the counter. "… How did you meet… it, anyways?" He was leaning against the counter now, intently staring at Seishin. He had changed. But to be fair, the doctor wasn't nearly the same person who'd so calmly killed Kyouko.

"… Isn't it…?" Seishin dropped the paw. "I think… It was two years ago, now…" He closed his eyes, and allowed the bobcat to lick his face, accompanied by gentle nuzzling. "… Sunako and I had rabbits back then… They weren't really our rabbits… I mean…"

Toshio looked at him carefully. "Were the rabbits wild too?"

"Yeah. Snowshoe hares. Sunako really liked them, so we put stuff out for them, when we had extras."

"…And the bobcat…?"

"Oh. It showed up… Well sort of…" At this, the cat stretched out, and allowed itself to be petted by Seishin. "…I mean… I found dead rabbits a bit before that… And thought that they'd been caught in the lawnmower or something…"

"Ouch." Toshio winced. "You didn't even check to… Before you mowed the lawn?"

"I have a gardener. He comes around every other week… But that isn't it. They were all torn up. I think it was after three had died, that I began to suspect otherwise…"

Toshio nodded, grateful for Seishin's relative ease with the topic. "And… This bobcat was behind that…"

Seishin frowned "It needed to eat… I mean… We all do, right?" Seishin glanced over at Toshio; the doctor thought that he'd caught a glimpse of Seishin's void-like, pupil-less eyes. He flinched, and then they were gone.

Not before he'd made a quick mental note. He wouldn't raise the food topic again. "Right… And… So… The bobcat was… you know…?"

"Ah… Yeah. It was… But… I didn't know that quite yet… So, one night, I went out with a meat cleaver, and found myself staring at this guy." The bobcat's ears perked up. It got out of Seishin's lap, and attempted to walk over to Toshio, only to find itself restrained by the jinrou.

"So… You let him in…?"

"No… Not exactly. I mean… Well… He kind of sprang on me… And took a big chunk of my left side…" Seishin winced, the bobcat had begun clawing and biting him, perhaps angered by its restraint. "Ah… Sorry… Toshio is a bit unnerved by you…"

"…Right… And… Then you…?" Toshio turned away, unintentionally wincing at each new wound. They'd sealed as quickly as they had opened, but he didn't imagine it was pleasant in the least.

"I used the blunt edge of the cleaver to knock him out. After which, I moved the rabbits elsewhere." Seishin finished there, then moved to a related topic. "Toshio… Can you get me a steak from the fridge?"

"A what?"

"Meat. I think he's hungry."

"Seishin, it's a damn wild animal. Why are you giving it meat?" Toshio set the milk down, and rummaged through the fridge. He found half a cut, and slid that over to Seishin. "…Not gonna walk over there."

Seishin gave him a smile, and picked it up, the bobcat close behind him. It looked a little scared, ears close to head, staring at Seishin. He unwrapped the leftovers, then tossed the meat into his backyard. The bobcat scrambled after it.

He looked at Toshio, before closing the sliding door. Toshio stared back blankly. "… Aren't you going to lock that…?"

Seishin shrugged. "It doesn't matter. He can't get back in."

"…Right." The jinrou calmly walked to the tap, and washed his hands off, the last of the wounds sealing themselves. "Doesn't… that hurt?"

Another shrug. "I… got used to it after a while."

Toshio frowned. "You never told me how…"

Seishin grinned. "I won him over with meat. Lots of it."

Toshio still looked uneasy. He picked the milk back up and began to sip it.

"I can't imagine that plain milk tastes good. Breakfast?"

"Tastes fine. It's buttermilk, by the way." He took another sip, before having it snatched away by Seishin. "Hey! I was drinking that!"

"So, you don't want buttermilk pancakes?" Seishin smirked.

"…Well… Now that you mention it…"

"Tea?"

"Coffee." Toshio found a faint smile on his face; reminded of similar conversations he'd had with the former priest.

"Toshio…"

"Yeah?"

"…Ah… You might want to zip up your pants." There was a faint blush on Seishin's face, though Toshio couldn't see this.

"Oh."


	12. Muroi Seishin Chapter 4: Postcards

A\N: So… I'm compelled to write an author's note. Will write in Haiku form.

METRO SKiiES' help

Made this chapter possible

Thank her very, very much.

Seishin found himself relaxing, there were a few more hours to sundown, and Toshio wasn't quite home from work yet. He lay, outstretched on the couch, unwilling to move. The lake looked inviting, warm almost, despite the obvious wintertime chill.

He casually sipped at the hot chocolate in his mug, reflecting on a variety of things. Toshio's presence reigned prominently in his thoughts. It wasn't… unpleasant. Toshio had apparently learned not to ask questions, which was good. The previous night… That was Seishin's fault. Toshio had put his arms around Seishin, and then Seishin had broken that off, feigning thirst.

Toshio hadn't tried it again. Seishin hadn't let him. He spent the rest of that night hunched over a too-small game board in Sunako's room. He'd lost, as he usually did, and ended up cleaning it up after Sunako had gone to bed.

He made breakfast for Toshio in the morning, only to have him rush out the door with it. He was running late for work. This had made him smirk a little bit; Toshio hadn't changed much. He sighed, and set his mug back on the coffee table. His laptop sat there as well.

He flipped the laptop open, giving the contents on screen a cursory glance. His email flashed prominently, only to be ignored. He quickly opened up a new tab; remembering that Sunako had asked for new books, and ready to oblige that request.

He'd heard the doorknob turn, to be followed by Toshio carrying two large shopping bags. "Hey. Sorry I was late."

"I wasn't really doing anything," Seishin said, still intently focused on filling up his virtual shopping cart.

"Oh. Just looked like you were busy." He shrugged, and moved over to the couch, setting the bags down between him and Seishin.

"Purchasing books. I can always finish later." Seishin slammed the lid of his laptop shut. "What… is…?"

"Oh. This?" He pulled a large box out of the bigger shopping bag. "It's a videogame system."

Seishin cast a glance at him. "…Oh." He moved to open his laptop up again.

Toshio frowned. "Can I hook it up?"

"That's fine." Seishin picked his hot chocolate mug back up.

"Are… you okay?" Toshio placed a hand on Seishin's forehead, only to have Seishin shy away.

"Yeah. I'm fine. I'm just a little bit tired."

"You shouldn't stay up so late. It's bad for your health." Toshio set the console down. "Or… At least, sleep through the day."

"Tatsumi did it…" Seishin protested.

"Doesn't mean you have to!" Toshio snapped. " 's a good thing I got takeout."

"… Takeout?" Seishin felt mildly confused, being shifted to a lying postion.

"Yeah. Takeout Chinese. Didn't want you to cook again." Toshio felt a twinge of annoyance, as Seishin sat back up again.

"You didn't need to… It's not really too big of a problem…" He picked the console box off the ground. "You wanted to hook this up, right?"

"Yeah." Toshio sighed. "You say stuff like that... But… I never really know…"

"I… kind of like cooking."

"Aw. Seishin is turning into a housewife," Toshio teased.

"There's nothing wrong with being a housewife!" Seishin grinned "Especially not if my husband is a lazy bum who can't seem to keep his grubby hands off the alcohol."

"Hey! That was just three cans of beer. That's not fair." Toshio mock-pouted. He drew noodles and chopsticks out of the remaining plastic bag. "Speaking of which… You wouldn't mind having some more with this… would you?"

"No." Seishin shook his head, hands tangled in multicolored wires. "It should be ready now…"

"No… You wouldn't mind?"

"Yeah."

"Okay. You're confusing me again." Toshio shook his head.

"I don't mind having beer." Seishin gave Toshio a smile. "It's fairly cheap beer, though."

"It's fine. I don't usually buy anything too expensive." Toshio grinned back, then opened up his container of noodles. "You better hurry though. I'm going to eat all of yours too, if you're too slow!"

"Fair enough." Seishin let go of the colored wires, then rushed to the fridge. He picked out two cans of beer, and set them down on the coffee table next to Toshio. "Wouldn't you rather eat on the dining table?"

"… Don't worry about that. It seems like more of an adventure when you sit here, doesn't it?"

Seishin had to laugh at this. "An adventure? It seems like you're being lazy."

"Yeah. That too." Toshio had turned around to spot Sunako, a little weary of him. "Oh. Looks like your kid is here."

"Sunako… Would you like to come sit down with us?" She nodded, and reluctantly clung to Seishin.

"Man. I'm kind of jealous of you, you know?"

"Why is that?" A slurp of noodles.

"… It's kind of embarrassing, actually…" Toshio rubbed the back of his neck.

Seishin shrugged. "You… don't have to tell me." He then turned to Sunako. "Are you hungry?" She shook her head in response, declining to comment.

"Nah. I will. I mean… It's only fair…" He sighed. "… I mean… it's not… Err… How am I supposed to say this…?"

Seishin looked at him blankly. "It's okay… if you don't want to…" He continued to pick at his noodles.

He pulled out a cigarette, before realizing that he was being stared at by both Sunako and Seishin. "Is something wrong…?"

"I don't have an ashtray…"

"I don't think that's it…" Toshio sighed, and set the cigarette down. "…Anyways…" He tried to shift the topic away from the current direction. "…Wanna try out the new game system?"

"Ask Sunako to do it… I'm not good with computers… Or… games…" Seishin sighed, taking a large sip of the beer.

"Well… Kirishiki…?" Toshio tapped his can of beer lightly with his finger. "Seishin can be your cheerleader." He grinned. "C'mon. Before I get too drunk to hold a controller."

Sunako gave Toshio a half-nod, her pride unwilling to admit defeat.

"Seishin and I used to go to arcades all the time in high school." He handed a controller to Sunako. "Though, he'd never actually play. Just gave all his 100 yen coins to me."

"It was just because you were so much better than me…" Seishin shifted uncomfortably.

"Not really."

"Ozaki, how do you play this game?" The controller was dangling from one of her hands, Seishin helping her hold it, so she wouldn't drop it.

"Haven't put anything in the machine yet." He lay three game cases on the table. "We can read the instructions for the after we pick one out. Because of my _obviously superior _tastes, we get to choose from… Raising papier-mâché animals… Shooting aliens… Or… Playing the guitar, I guess."

"…All of those sound boring." She scanned the boxes with relative distaste.

"Hey! I assure you, these are all quality games!" He picked up a box at random. "Raising papier-mâché animals, it is."

"Toshio… Are you sure that is appropriate…?"

"You're letting your kid take sips out of your beer can, and you're asking me if a game that is represented by a picture of a blue and green horse is appropriate?" Toshio ran a hand through his hair, then tossed the game manual at Seishin.

"Ah… That is… Sunako…" He placed a hand on the can in an attempt to pull it away from Sunako. He hadn't noticed that she'd begun to drink out of it. Not that he minded…

"Don't worry about it. It's just farming, anyway." Toshio grinned. "Kirishiki, your dad is the strangest guy I've ever met."

"I know. But he buys me whatever I want, without question."

"That's harsh. You're only with him because of his credit card?"

"Well, that's not it… He also has a nice face… And, writes stories for me. Unlike a certain freeloading doctor." Toshio chuckled at this.

"Must be nice, having a kid. Even one that drops bombshell insults."

Seishin brushed the hair out of Sunako's face. "…Yeah." He paused thoughtfully. "Is this…"

"Yeah. You guessed it…" Toshio gave Sunako an affectionate ruffle of the hair. She squeezed her eyes shut. "…It's not like I didn't try…" He sighed. "Though… That kid probably would have had a shitty time with the old hag."

"Toshio…"

"Nah. It's fine. I mean… Adoption is a word, right?"

"Toshio…"

"…You don't mind if I stay here for a bit longer… Do you?"

"…No…" Seishin then mumbled "I'm sure Sunako won't mind having two fathers…"

Toshio's eyes widened slightly. He then managed a laugh. "You don't have to do something like that for me… And… I don't think she'd be content with the fact that one of her fathers killed all her friends. And whatever family she had before." He switched the console on. "…Might as well manage these damn piñatas."

Seishin let out a heavy sigh. "You'll be okay if I go take a shower… Right?"

"Yeah. We'll be fine. How bad can a game with piñatas be?" He looked at Sunako. "Right, Kirishiki?"

"…" She looked at Seishin. "I'm fine. Are you…?"

"Yeah. I didn't think… anyways…" He walked back upstairs quickly; a hollow smile crossing his face.

"Is… he okay?"

"…Why don't you ask him, Ozaki?" She looked up at him.

"He… wouldn't tell me anyways."

"That's not necessarily true."


	13. Muroi Seishin Chapter 5: Sunshine?

A\N: METRO SKiiES. Again. Forever. I love you. Wait. Fuck. Trophy Girlfriend reads this. Sandrine. Disregard this author's note. Or. Wait,., L,O,O,OOOK,,, CO,,,,MMAS,,,,,, And, as an added defensive measure: Trusty Bell. Chopin's Dream.

The evening had started out just like the last; relatively pleasant.

"Ozaki. You should let me hold that paddle for you." Sunako reached over for the one in Toshio's hand, managing to grab it, and begin prying it out of his grasp.

"Let go of the goddamn paddle. You dropped the last one." He exhaled a lungful of cigarette smoke, before spitting his cigarette out into the lake. Predictably, it remained at the surface of the lake, rather than sinking to the depths, as the paddle had.

"Seishin dropped the last one. Go help him look for it. I'll hold this one for you." She said this with an uncharacteristic smile; one that unsettled the doctor. He let the paddle go, and stood up, to look for the lost one.

"…Right. Gonna leave my keys and wallet here, so they don't get soaked." The doctor slid his possessions out of his front pocket, and set them down on the floor of the small boat.

"Are you _sure _you don't want me to hold them?" She giggled.

"Seishin's been down there for a while. Are you sure he's okay?"

"He doesn't need to breathe." She cast a glance down at the murky water. "He's going to be back soon, anyway."

Toshio awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck. "…I should… probably help, right?"

"That's what I suggested, yes." She picked his keys off the boat, casually inspecting the two that hung on the bare keyring. "The bigger one is the apartment… And the smaller one is the mail?"

"Other way around." He sighed "Are you sure he's coming back soon?"

"Before you know it." She waved away his concerns. "Do you get a lot of mail, Ozaki?"

"…Not really… I mean… Before Rochester, I got a package every year… From Seishin… I think. But now, it's just bills. And the occasional advertisement." He pulled another cigarette out of his back pocket.

"So… you wouldn't miss it?" She giggled.

"What do you mean?"

"Well… If I was to do something like this…" She took the larger key off the keyring; and decisively dropped it into the water. "…Would you be okay?"

He stared at her blankly for a moment, before rushing to the edge of the boat. "… My… key…" It glimmered slightly, illuminated by the moonlight as it fell. It looked beautiful on its downward descent. But, by then, the doctor had realized that it was irretrievable. "…Damn…"

"What?" Seishin had returned, though conspicuously without a paddle. He clung onto the edge of the boat feebly.

"Kirishiki dropped my key." A heavy sigh there. This meant that he would have to ask his roommate for the spare. And he'd dearly hoped not the see the other man again.

"…Sunako… That's…" Seishin had tried to sound disappointed; though he'd only hit mildly upset with his tone. He sighed. "Toshio… could you… turn around, please?"

"…Why?" The doctor was grumpy.

"It's… just… I'd rather look at your face…" Seishin's voice trailed off. "And… I need a little help… to get back into the boat, I mean."

"…Yeah." He stumbled over to the other side of the boat, and poised to pull the jinrou over. As he did so, he felt a pair of hands on his back. And then he was in the water. Dangerously close to Seishin.

"Toshio… You don't have to move around so much…" He placed a hand on the doctor's shoulder, and one around his waist, trying to slow the other man's movements. "You'll float anyway…"

"Dammit… Seishin… I can't swim." He continued to panic, despite the constant reassurances of his friend. "…I need to get back on…" He tried to break away from Seishin's grip.

Seishin frowned. "Then… why did you suggest…?"

"Going out on the water?"

"Yeah… It doesn't seem like…"

Toshio gave in, and let Seishin adjust him. "…Kirishiki asked. So, I thought it might be okay."

Seishin chuckled. "It looks like the two of you are getting along."

"Yeah, right. She just dropped my keys in the water."

He sighed. "She didn't say anything about hating you…"

"…Probably still does." He shifted topics. "…Seishin… Does your girlfriend get mad, 'cause you spend so much time with me?"

Seishin stiffened. "…I'm not seeing anyone…"

"Still the same as always…" The doctor grinned. "When we get home, you're making me a beef bowl."

"You just had two sandwiches. Plus whatever soup Sunako neglected to eat."

"I'm only thirty-six. I've got at least four more years until I have to work all the extra weight off." He closed his eyes. "And, we're swimming back, aren't we?"

"No. We're not. Technically speaking, I'm dragging you back to shore."


	14. Ozaki Toshio Chapter 6: Pendulum

A\N: Almost back to school time. Gonna squeeze out another chapter before I have to gooooooo. This bedroom will become a major character soon enough. And the roommate will return. **Soon. **And the google search that Toshio performs in this chapter is an actual google search, the first four hits are pulled directly from the search screen, but the bar however, does not exist.

He awoke with a start. He was cold. Seishin was curiously absent; on a walk perhaps. By his estimation, it was almost dawn. There was a certain restlessness in his body that demanded a snack. The doctor found himself craving an omelet. There was a careful moment there. There was an important decision; stay in the mildly cold bed, or become prey to whatever blustering winds roamed the hallway.

In the end, he'd chosen the latter. The omelet would be worth it. Especially if Seishin was the one to make it. He slipped on the bedroom slippers, and walked down the stairs slowly. Not too difficult. Toshio was unsurprised to find the kitchen empty. Though, there was something wrong about it. Toshio had taken a glance out the window. He frowned. The car was gone.

Seishin hadn't gone out for a walk. In contrast, he'd have had to go somewhere relatively far away. And he'd come all the way downstairs for the omelet. He frowned.

There was no telling when the other man would get back. He went to the fridge, and retrieved the eggs. In hindsight, he _had _seen Seishin make them dozens of times. The egg separated easily, and the inside went onto the frying pan. Did the spice come first? Or, was it the mint?

He sighed, and put both in at the same time. Was that proper? He took the spatula that Seishin had left on the counter, and attempted to flip the omelet. It was firmly stuck to the pan.

After his fifth try, he decided that the omelet would _not _be sliding off of the frying pan. "Shit." The thing began to burn on the frying pan.

"What?" The doctor swiveled around to find the jinrou standing in the entryway. When had he gotten there?

"The omelet is burning." It was relatively calm; everything considered.

Seishin sighed. He grabbed the pan, and doused it with cold water. He seemed relatively worn out; wherever he'd been. It reflected in his clothing as well. It seemed relatively wrinkled, as if Seishin had left the clothes in a heap for most of the night. His hair was messy as well. "You didn't grease the pan, did you?"

"Grease the…?" He scratched his head. "Seishin… You've got to leave instructions for this sort of thing." He momentarily frowned. "…Where were you, anyways?"

"Yes… Toshio, you have to grease it. Otherwise whatever you put on top of it will stick to the pan." The jinrou looked away. "I've been… out."

"Well, yeah. You've been out, but… _Where _exactly were you?"

He sighed again. "Just… somewhere."

"Seishin… if you get thirsty… or something…" Toshio awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck. "…We're friends, right…?"

"That's not it." The jinrou took a fresh carton of milk out of the fridge. "Would you like some milk as well?"

"…Pass on the milk." He waved a hand dismissively. "Is it really that embarrassing?"

Seishin gave Toshio a frown. "I told you. It's not… that." He calmly poured a glass of milk for himself. "Are you sure you don't want one?"

"Yeah. I'd rather have an omelet." He shrugged. "I'm not really in the mood for buttermilk."

"It's not buttermilk." Seishin brushed some hair out of his face. As he did so, Toshio caught a glimpse of Seishin's wrist. There was the faint outline of a dark star; perhaps smudged by sweat.

"If you say so…" He sighed. "Still not in the mood for any milk."

Seishin gave him a small smile. "I'll take a shower and then make you an omelet."

"Sounds good." He gave the jinrou a nod. He froze for a moment—would asking about the star be overstepping his boundaries? Seishin got quite mad the last time… And he didn't want a repeat… He took a deep breath. Hopefully his house would be ready… "Hey… Seishin…?"

"Yes?" The inquisitive dark eyes were on him again. His mother had those same dark, dark eyes. That was a fond memory, hiding from Mrs. Muroi.

They were four at the time, and were small enough to squeeze into the narrow spaces in the ventilation shaft. They had been scolded then, for making their parents upset.

They had tried again when they were sixteen, and relatively drunk. The alcohol had been from Toshio's father's cabinet… And they had been scolded for that too… Though, he could remember less of that night.

"…Toshio?"

"Oh. Sorry. Just thinking about things…" He blushed, fairly embarrassed.

"Don't worry about it." A gentle smile from Seishin. "Did… you want to ask me something?"

"Oh. Yeah." He swallowed. Maybe asking him about the star was a bad idea. Perhaps it was just nothing. Something he'd missed earlier. Maybe Sunako had drawn it on his arm. That was more plausible. "Well… it wasn't really a question. I mean…" He sighed. "You're out of shampoo."

"I guess, now my hair won't smell as nice." There was some mock anger in his voice.

"Hm?" Toshio blinked. "Oh. A joke."

"Yes… Toshio… Are you feeling okay?"

The doctor gave him a little smile. "Just a little tired. I don't normally wake up this early."

"Why not just go back to bed?"

"Don't feel like it." Seishin gave his statement a curt nod, and then he was gone again.

Toshio found himself listening for the sounds of the shower. He was still at relative unease. Seishin hadn't trusted him enough, evidently. He sighed heavily, and propped open his laptop, slightly ashamed; he was prying—doing an internet search for the star behind Seishin's back.

He typed _black star, south MN_ into the google search query. It came back with a fair amount of hits, which included advertisements for "martian moon rock sales" among other things. The first four hits were all useless. He assumed that Seishin neither needed drugs without a prescription, nor required chickens, or "farm-grade dairy products."

He'd gone up to page three without any viable results. He'd found a bar of a similar name, and felt mildly curious. He double-clicked on that. The window that came up was, in his opinion, very nicely laid out. There was a little slideshow of pictures, and a blurb with information.

Both of these seemed uninteresting. He poked around on the site for a bit, until he found a picture of the same star-mark on a bartender's hand. In the picture, the bartender was leaning over the counter, lips on another man.

There was a blurb about some dating service offered there—though he disregarded this. Toshio scanned over the picture again. The black star meant that Seishin was a bartender? He frowned. Seishin was… An author… But, then again…

That must have been it. Seishin worked at a bar to pay off the mortgage or something… And, it was natural that he'd be embarrassed about working at _that _type of bar…

He rubbed his stubble, the kiss in Rochester forgotten. That was probably it.

"Toshio?" He froze, hands on the laptop. He quickly clicked on an ad on the sidebar—he didn't want Seishin to know he'd been prying. "What are you…?"

"Uh… This is just…" He looked at Seishin, trying to obscure his screen from view.

Seishin had caught a glimpse of it, anyway. "Toshio… if you want to play computer games, I have a better computer in my office…"

He snuck a sideways glance at his screen. "Oh… Yeah… Computer games… I love them."

"Are you sure you're okay?"

"Perfectly fine."


	15. Interlude II: Behind the Locked Door

A\N: **Soon. **But, not as soon as you may think. Because I have school and Beirut album. Can you have two interludes? I don't see why not. So here is a second one.

She was curled up; uncomfortably close to Seishin's room. The walls were paper-thin, which hadn't seemed like much of a problem before; Seishin hadn't done anything _terrible. _Or, if he had, he'd had the good sense to muffle it.

Ozaki, however, was different. She'd have called him shameless, if that didn't involve having to leave her room.

There hadn't been much noise at first. She was able to hide under her blankets, and read the book that Seishin had suggested with no relative disturbance. Seishin had protested it, telling Ozaki to get off him, but then he had succumbed.

And then it had gotten louder. She cringed, the page turns fell into regular intervals, with Ozaki's rhythmic grunts. She scowled. Why did Seishin always happen to be the victim of circumstance? She doubted that Ozaki would take responsibility in the morning.

Sunako turned the page, gritting her teeth. She felt her fangs sink into the soft flesh of her lower lip. She drew blood. It stained the pristine pages of Seishin's book, running down the side. She scowled again. Ozaki was to blame, obviously.

If he hadn't violated Seishin, she wouldn't have been mad. And if she wasn't mad, she wouldn't have ruined the book. The next page-turn was more violent than the last. The page had torn cleanly; the sound echoing in the hallway.

But Seishin wouldn't have noticed. Especially not if he was being embraced by Ozaki.

The nail polish chipped off her fingers with ease.

She squeezed her eyes shut, continuing to scrape the nail polish off her fingers. Ozaki was… Ozaki was irrelevant. _Scrape. _He would leave in the morning. _Scrape. _The lights were off in the room. _Scrape. _Seishin was a substitute for his dead wife. _Scrape. _Which meant… She would have Seishin back the following evening. _Scrape. _

Her eyelids fluttered. She frowned; there was something all too satisfying about the prospect of having Seishin to herself again. He'd be emotionally unstable, yes. But she could fix him. And Ozaki wouldn't be in the picture.

That's right. He wasn't welcome in this house in the first place. Seishin's lingering affection had allowed him to stay. And he'd exhausted his welcome.

But yet… She couldn't bring herself to completely savor the fact. Ozaki hadn't done anything to her… He'd even let her use the white box downstairs. He'd even offered to buy her something for the white box; something that she would be more interested in. Seishin of course declined… But Ozaki had still made the offer.

She frowned. Was she beginning to _like _Ozaki? She sunk into her bed, sheets around her. Dawn was approaching quickly.

Seishin would be hers in the morning.


	16. Muroi Seishin Chapter 6: Empty Room

A\N: If I could marry those of you who gave me reviews, I would marry some of you multiple times. Mostly Trophy Girlfriend. Would now be an appropriate time to quote a certain favorite song of mine? _And sound will bring me home. _Or would that be too sadistic? **REMEMBER GUYS. DON'T EVER TRY THIS AT HOME. YOUR FRIENDS WILLDEFINATELY NOT APPRECIATE THIS (neither will their kids). **

The adolescent fantasies had a strange way of fulfilling themselves; though they were nothing more than a sinewy imprint on life. It had happened all too fast. Toshio was above him, eyes gleaming. He squeezed his eyes shut. _He hadn't wanted this. _Not this way, at least.

The red envelope had been his execution ticket, though he hadn't known it at the time. _Something that Toshio had wanted to watch. _It was a simple enough thought. But, instead, another movie had arrived in its place.

He tried to fight the blush. Toshio's hands moved up his sides, peeling his shirt off. Toshio's hands were warm. He faintly registered his chest being caressed, Toshio's tongue in his mouth. His fangs scraped the bottom of Toshio's jaw. Had they always been out?

Seishin felt himself slip into the familiar delirium. Had he given up too quickly? Seishin's hands found themselves at the other man's belt buckle, quickly undoing that.

He was on his knees now, pressed firmly against Toshio. Toshio's hands were on his back, pulling him closer. His breath was already heavy. He dug his hands into the doctor's hair, leaning in for another kiss.

Toshio's mouth had tasted like nicotine and takeout-food. There was ghosting smoke from the last cigarette on the ashtray by the nightstand. Toshio had put it out fairly quickly. _Was that when his mood had changed? _The takeout-food had probably been his lunch.

He instinctively braced himself. His pants were around his ankles, and he suddenly felt under clothed; Toshio's shirt was simply unbuttoned, while his had been cast aside some time before. He felt a creeping blush, the mix of adrenaline and need overtaking his thoughts.

_How had he gotten into the bed in the first place? _Toshio had suggested that they watch the movie that had arrived. But there had been more build-up to it than that. There was some argument concerning the rating. And the contents. In the end, he'd lost. Toshio had won. They'd watched it; in fact, it was still playing. It hadn't been much more than a collection of distasteful sex scenes.

And that had somehow set Toshio off.

He'd felt numb. Toshio's head was between his legs, his cock in the doctor's mouth. He'd tried to push the doctor away. He didn't want it. _Not like this. _There was a wicked gleam in Toshio's eyes, as he resurfaced. He wouldn't stop.

He'd heard an unzip. Then a crinkle of fabric. Toshio's pants were off. Seishin's heart sunk. What had he done to warrant this? It was the same as before. Cheap rooms with nameless men.

_I love you. _He couldn't hear his own voice anymore. Toshio's fingers between his cheeks. The doctor pumping him with the other hand.

He'd tried again. _Toshio… I…_The thing that came out of his throat was no longer his own voice. Toshio's hands were slick with the lotion that had been on the bedside table. The friction was immense.

He'd felt himself being lifted up, onto Toshio's lap, facing the doctor. Toshio had begun thrusting into him. _Don't… _His head next to Toshio's ear. "…Please."

Toshio had responded with a grunt, Seishin still looking at the bedpost behind them. His cheeks were wet with tears. They rolled down Toshio's back. But even that was bitter liquid.

Toshio had pulled him off. Seishin felt mildly guilty; he hadn't given Toshio anything. He was given a hasty kiss. Toshio's tongue was then on his cheek again, licking away the tears. Hands caressing his cock.

Then he was nuzzling his neck. Seishin was on the edge. He came as Toshio thrust into him.

The doctor had then tried to shift out of him; Seishin's hands wrapped around Toshio's neck. He nibbled at Toshio's collarbone; then sunk his fangs in.

He felt the doctor stiffen, and then his senses were clouded by the hot liquid.

The jinrou felt mildly satisfied, the chemicals stimulated need.

He let Toshio give him a good-night kiss. Lay him down on the downy bed. Wrap him in new, clean sheets. Toshio's arms went up around him. He did not object.

_I love you. _

_Love you too. _

And he knew that the other man wouldn't remember in the morning.


	17. Ozaki Toshio Chapter 7: The Penalty

A\N: Because we all know that instead of dealing with your relationship problems, you should go play bejeweled. LIKE A REAL MAN.

He woke up in a mild panic, naked in Seishin's bed, with a terrible headache. The previous night had come back in brief intervals, as he lay on his side. Seishin had done a thorough job with the cleanup. The sheets were white; impersonal, unlike his last argyle-printed ones.

As if his current relationship with Seishin wasn't complicated enough. His roommate would probably have given him a fist-pump.

Ignorance was bliss.

He gingerly fingered the bite marks on his neck. They had swollen, not so unlike the bite he'd gotten from Sunako a while ago. It had been enough to push him over the edge the previous night.

The bay windows had been open. Was that supposed to shame him?

The hair on the nape of his neck prickled; the morning cold was almost unbearable. _How had Seishin lived here for three years? _He hadn't noticed the solitude before. Toshio took a sharp breath in. There were clothes by the bedside, price tags still attached; they were probably expensive.

He sighed. Things had been going well. Seishin had hidden things from him, yes. But it was only natural.

Duluth was not Sotoba.

There was an empty bottle of Cherbourg on the nightstand. Was that his, or was it Seishin's? The memories had been fleeting—part of him didn't want to remember. Seishin was his oldest friend. And what he'd done violated some universal boundary. Was this going to change things with Sunako as well?

He didn't mind being around her—perhaps she was the daughter he'd neglected to have.

He ran his hands through his hair. Would Seishin's be unkempt as well?

The pants first, then the shirt. It had always been that way. Since the days of his youth.

The smell of coffee grounds hung heavy in the kitchen. Seishin held a warm mug. There were no ingredients set out for another such drink.

The jinrou lay on the couch idly, the television flickering from one news station to the next. Local. National. World. Regional. He stood behind Seishin now; fingertips brushing against the soft beige fabric.

The words didn't seem to come out right—How was he going to start? _I'm sorry _wasn't quite enough. "Nothing to watch on T.V., is there?" It was slow, and slightly staggered. _It was stupid. Seishin would never go for it. _

The other man shrugged, shrinking back from Toshio's touch. He held the mug to his lips, flinching slightly as he drank out of it. _So he did prefer the tea after all… _

"Do you mind if I watch with you?" He sat down next to Seishin, only to have him move to the other couch.

"Toshio. Will you please leave me alone?" It was direct. He had a slight rasp in his voice; had he been crying?

Toshio exhaled deeply. "I know it was wrong… And I shouldn't have done it…"

Seishin didn't seem to be listening. He was idly running his fingers around the rim of the mug. The television flickered briefly between a news station and a sitcom. He continued anyways, looking away, at the ground mostly. At his trembling palms occasionally. "…It wasn't all that bad…"

He'd heard something that sounded like disapproval. "I'm sorry."

Seishin still wasn't listening. It didn't seem like it. The mug was set down, steam still spilling out of the top. The television changed stations again. "…If you'd like… There's this pretty brunette at work…"

"Not interested."

The doctor flinched. His response was almost instantaneous. "…Are you sure…? She's totally your type. I mean, she's quiet… And into books…"

"No."

He drew a cigarette out of his pocket. "…Seishin… Just let me…"

He was interrupted. "No. Toshio, I'm not interested in an apology-date."

The doctor chuckled; changing the atmosphere might change Seishin's mood. "Don't like brunettes?"

Seishin sighed. "…That's not it."

"So, do you like brunettes?" Toshio was grinning. He'd seemingly forgotten about the misdemeanor.

The jinrou took the cup to the sink.

"Or, would you prefer blondes?" The doctor was flipping through his cellphone.

"I'm thinking about someone." Probably to shut Toshio up.

"Oh." He thought for a moment. "…Is she pretty?"

"Can you just go away?" Seishin had started to wash the dishes.

"…Seishin… Can we just forget about it?"

"Yes, Toshio." There was a sarcastic edge to the voice.

"Are you… okay?"

"No. And I don't want a strange consolation prize either." He realized that he could no longer see Seishin's eyes. They were hidden by his thick, platinum hair.

"I don't understand." The doctor put his arms around Seishin. It had felt strangely hollow. Seishin's arms still at his sides, refusing to give in. "…You should just explain it to me. Like all those complicated books."

He squirmed out of the firm grip. "I don't want to. And you wouldn't understand."

"Then help me." His voice was escalating; unpleasant morning-afters grew tiring. And Kyouko had always left before he woke up.

"Toshio. I just want to be alone. I want to watch daytime television, and take a nap, maybe."

"You're really something, you know. I'm trying to help you, and you want to take a nap?"

Seishin exhaled. "Yes. I want to take a nap."

The doctor had grabbed Seishin. "Why the hell would you want to take a nap?"

"I'm tired, Toshio."

"Why? You slept pretty well last night." It was almost accusatory.

"No. I did not. I was up all night."

"And why was that?" The doctor tightened his grip.

The jinrou stiffened. He was becoming uncomfortable. "I was thinking."

"About what? Nothing is that important."

"About… things." Seishin half-shut his eyes. "About you, mostly."

Toshio froze. "Why?" The accusatory edge was gone. He felt the other man tense, and redden. "You were so eager to have me gone this morning."

"…Love you." He'd mumbled it, Toshio hadn't understood what he'd said.

"What?"

"I love you." He'd choked it out. And then he'd felt light-headed.

"Seishin… Once isn't enough to…"

He was abruptly cut off. Seishin had begun to laugh. "You think I love you, because of last night?"

"I…" Toshio was at a loss for words. He felt defeated.

"Because, you weren't the best. No. Not even close."

"Then, what are you implying?" Seishin had that same unnerving quality. He sounded so much like Sunako. Perhaps that was a recent development.

"Twenty years. I've loved you since you were sixteen." He'd clearly flipped some switch. Or, maybe he'd already done that the previous night.

"Why… didn't you tell me…?" He'd felt his heart sink. Toshio hadn't expected this from Seishin.

"When was I supposed to tell you? High school? You were too busy dating, and then studying in between girlfriends. What was I supposed to say about that? Was I supposed to tell you that I didn't feel the way I was intended to? Or maybe, you seem to have forgotten where we came from. We were both expected to carry on a line of duty."

Toshio sighed. "Seishin… You could have told me. And we could have figured something out…"

"No. It never would have worked. Not with you. What would you have done?"

Toshio took one of Seishin's hands into his own. "We could have gone somewhere…"

"When? Before you got married, or after?"

"Seishin… That's unfair…"

"Toshio. Let go of me. I don't want you to tell me that this is unfair. I watched you get married; plan to have children, and try to kill Sunako. No, you didn't even come looking for me after I went missing." Seishin withdrew his hand, and plucked his keys off the counter.

"I… didn't know…" He felt a pit at the bottom of his stomach.

"I'm going to go for a walk."

"You don't need your keys for that." He'd tried to ease them out of Seishin's hands.

"Don't tell me what to do." And with that, he was gone. He was staring at Seishin's back. Had he always been looking at Seishin's back? How had he gotten so far behind?

_Don't go… _Though, he was too late.

He paced across the floor—ten minutes passed, then twenty. Around the thirty-five minute mark, it became apparent that Seishin wasn't going to be back for a while.

He flipped open his laptop. There had to be some way to fix this. He wasted no time. He sat there, a serious look on his face. The search bar prompted for a query. And he'd entered one. _What to do when you accidentally have sex with your (vampire) best friend, and then he's mad at you, cause he was in love with you. (We come from a small village.) _

The first hit looked promising. And, he'd come to a site for hysterical teenage girls to describe their 'first encounters' with vampires. He couldn't help but laugh. Seishin wasn't desperate for love. Nor was he completely out of control.

He was just… Seishin.

The search query was revised. Though that didn't do any good. He'd effectively removed the vampire and small village terms. But, all he'd gotten was: _Oh. Sucks, bro. You're pretty screwed. _

Toshio narrowed his eyes. A part of him was tempted to shut the laptop. To go ask Sunako instead.

Then he spied an ad on the scrolling menu. The same ad he'd clicked on before, when he'd tried to hide his screen from Seishin. Maybe that was his first mistake.

He sighed. Might as well take a break. And the game looked fun. Be-something-ed. Swapping jewels out for other ones, to make patterns on screen.

After a few clicks, he'd managed to end his game. He'd lost. There were no more moves left.

"Mmmm… So that's what you were doing." She lay on the headrest of the couch, her hands on his head.

"Why are you here?" He'd waved her away.

"I was curious, my _husband _doesn't call me for days on end… And… I need to know what he's doing." She giggled, and reseated herself. Her crescent moon-smile vaguely reminiscent of a certain story Seishin had tried to explain to him, earlier.

"Not married anymore. You're dead." Another click. And he'd lost again. Twice in ten minutes.

"And, you're still terrible." She ran her hands through his hair. "This isn't even presentable."

"Didn't mean for it to be. I mean… Damn. I really don't know what to say." He put his head to the keyboard.

"If you hit backspace, while hovering over some of the stones, you can delete them, you know. And, it'll bring you out of a tight spot." She suggestively crossed her hands over his laptop.

"Doesn't work that way in real life." He nibbled on the edge of a new cigarette.

"You're terrible, you know." She crossed her legs, and took his cigarette, substituting one of her fingers for it. "That poor guy had a thing for you."

"Oh, really?" He slid away from her. "Yeah. 'S a bit too late."

"Mmmm. You really are an idiot. I loved you too, once, you know?" She blew him a kiss.

"You're a damn hag." He pushed her away.

"But _he's _not." She chuckled. "_And you just stood there and watched._"

"I was trying… To help him." Though he wasn't too sure of his own motives.

"Are these _his?_" Her fingers went to the bite marks on his neck. "You're so naughty."

"Shut up." He slapped her fingers away; she was dead. Why was she bothering him now? "I've got things to do."

"Like playing bejeweled?" She ran her fingers up his side. "Wouldn't you rather do something else…?"

"Kyouko. Please." His head dropped into his palms.

She caressed his back; he was tense. "Fine."

"Are you going to leave me too?"

"I'm already _dead, _Toshio." And then, she was gone. Or, would it have been more accurate to say that she had never been there. He reached out. But there was nothing to hold. _She_ was just a left-over. Like so many of the others.


	18. Muroi Seishin Chapter 7: City Lights

A\N: The song, the Flying Club Cup was named after a hot-air balloon show in Paris around the turn of the century. The competition named specifically for the shape of the winning balloon. SO NOW YOU KNOW.

"That was so awesome! That robot just ripped the other one in half!" His editor was wildly excited; though Seishin himself couldn't see the point to the movie.

"Mhmmm." He nodded, gently thumbing his new piercing. The pain had dulled slightly, though his ear was still throbbing; it wanted to heal itself, though the metal pieces stuck inside wouldn't allow that.

"You aren't paying attention." It was more of an assertion than anything.

"No… The robot just got totaled… And an explosion happened before that." Seishin sighed. He wasn't in the mood for a ridiculous film. He'd showed up relatively unannounced, and had ended up staying for most of the day, and well into the night.

"Man, you're killing me. There were two explosions!" His editor made a dramatic gesture of throwing his hands up into the air. "Two separate explosions."

"The building burst into flames… Was there anything else?"

"The car. The bald guy shot the car, and it exploded."

"Oh. Right."

"Seishin… We can stop watching it, if you want…" He reached for the remote.

"You don't have to…" He turned over. "…You usually watch movies before bed, right…?"

"Yeah. But, I'll make an exception. Besides. I really, really want to know what Sunako said about your new 'rings."

Seishin slid his cellphone out of his pants' pocket. There were two new text messages. The first one was a casual inquiry about dinner. He replied "leftover pasta in fridge; can make freezer pizza with it."

The second one, however was more interesting. He passed his phone to his editor, who began reading it out loud. "Seishin, please tell Andy that needles from $2 sewing kits, that you get at white elephant auctions are rather unsanitary. They look nice. Smilie face."

He sighed. "Andy, needles from $2 sewing kits that you get at white elephant auctions are unsanitary."

His editor laughed. "You're actually doing that?"

He shrugged. "When you have a seemingly telepathic daughter, what else are you supposed to do?"

"What should I say to her?"

Seishin almost smiled. "Do you ever ask me?"

"Good point." He thought for a moment, then began typing away. "Hey, Seishin. Cheer up. There are other lamprays in the sea." He smiled.

Seishin reddened. "I meant to say lámpara."

"Sure you did. Just like the one time you accidentally said orgy." He handed the phone back to Seishin. "And, I was kind enough to point out that my name is Antonio, 'cause she seems to forget that."

"It's hard to pronounce Spanish words!"

"Don't worry about it. Just ask your kid to teach you. She's really good, anyways." He gave Seishin a pat on the back. "Anyway, we should probably get something to eat."

"I can make something…"

"Nah. Don't worry about it. Then I'd just be like your ex."

"We didn't really date…"

"Oh…"

There was a small silence; Seishin gave in and broke it. Andy's eyes begged for the story.

"He kind of... We… um…" He reddened. "I was upset; I thought he'd be different, but he wasn't. He got mad at me, because I tried to keep my distance—I was forced to tell him, and he said nothing in return."

Before he knew it, he was being embraced by his editor. "Oh, dude. That's so sad."

He felt awkward, being pinned to the couch. "Is that why you're crying?"

"Yeah. I mean, I'd feel terrible if my fiancé totally turned down my proposal."

Seishin sighed. "I'm used to it, I suppose."

"You shouldn't be though."

"...Now, if only you weren't engaged." He managed a smile.

His editor clapped him on the back again. "That's the spirit! Now, if only I could get you clubbing again."

"Last time we went clubbing, I felt terribly violated. We are never going clubbing again— " His thoughts were interrupted by a slight _ping_.

"Gimme your phone." It wasn't so much a question, as it was a command.

"What did she say?"

"Oh, this one's really funny! She said: He's kind of a loser. I guess he's really bad at sleeping or something, because he got this cut from the bedframe, and I had to stick gauze on it, even though he's a doctor. I guess he has a guilty conscience or something, because he's been going on about apologizing and Netflix. And, something about his wife. Though, personally, I think she was a whole lot less useful than Seishin."

He frowned. "What did you say to her?"

"Oh! I just asked her what kind of guy you were into."

Seishin smirked. "She never really liked him."

"That's not it. There are like two more paragraphs going on about how he doesn't know how to dress himself, or take care of his hair, 'cause it has split ends… Oh, and one about how he's extremely selfish."

He sighed "Didn't know he was that bad."

"Oh. And she says: He'd be an okay dad, though."

"Is that supposed to be praise?"

"No idea. But, we can't think on an empty stomach, right?"

"That was a pretty bad transition."

"So, pizza?"

"Deep-dish."


	19. Ozaki Toshio Chapter 8: Restless Nights

A\N: Done (sort-of) jointly with METRO SKiiES; we both took the song Plant Life by Owl City, and came up with our own interpretations of it—compare and contrast with her_ Final Distance_. Fanart on pixiv is great. But I don't understand Japanese. So, I use the shitty translate feature on Goog. Chrome. And the art description comes out to be something like: "Damping is to be not good source of protein, is why they use -chan suffix." But it was worth it. New Toshio & Seishin wallpaper on my blog, in commemoration of some chapters. IT'S TOTALLY FREE.

He was there again, back pressed to burning boards. He had lost all feeling in his legs—they had been pinned to the ground by a beam that fell from the rafters. _Where was Seishin? _

A dark liquid pooled beneath his right arm, it had come from his wrist.

Flames curled around his body. They were so warm. With his last bit of strength, he squeezed his eyes shut.

He wasn't wearing a jacket. Well no, he hadn't _expected _to be kicked out of his house by his own wife. His mother hadn't shown any compassion for his plight; she'd simply laughed at him. So he'd left. Because, he was obviously not welcome in his own home.

He'd made the journey up to the old church, to talk to Seishin. The sun had just gone down. No, he wasn't in time. But Seishin would wait. And wait. And wait.

The other man sat on a pew. He was in his high-school uniform. Sixteen years old, and in singular anguish. There was a hand on his shoulder, gently urging his jacket off. It was warm. He felt the heat concentrated on his legs.

He was paralyzed. What was he supposed to say to Seishin? _She _had already beat him to it. She casually flipped through his journal, and he'd given her a smile. It was weak and strained.

Seishin suddenly looked old. The weight of the village was upon him. They were gathering around him. The house was hollow. His smile was hollow. There had never been anything for him there. But he'd smiled.

The shackles had gotten unhinged, and he'd still felt them around his legs. He'd tried to reach for the man. But he was looking at Seishin's back again. The door-frame collapsed under its own weight.

He reached for a cigarette, but they were all burnt to ash.

The stained-glass window that he'd been looking through shattered. The glass had cut his face deeply.

He could no longer see out of his right eye. His left eye looked lazily at the ceiling. The flames engulfed the entire thing. It was gone.

He was awake. Sweat beaded up on his face. He was bleeding, a shallow cut on his right arm.

9:32 PM. He'd gone to bed at an odd hour again. How had he gotten to Seishin's bed? The sheets had minute traces of his blood on them.

"Damn." He sighed. His stomach felt empty. He had neglected to eat; he wasn't sure what he _allowed _to eat. And there was the entire matter of the transfusion packages in the fridge. He'd accidentally stumbled upon them. They were unnerving.

_She _was on the couch, flipping through stations, just as he had been. They were so alike.

"Is he not back yet…?"

"He isn't coming back until tomorrow." She gripped her phone protectively. "He's at a friend's."

"Oh." Toshio sighed. He had messed up, hadn't he? "Um… Kirishiki… This is going to sound weird… But…"

"I knew." She was staring blankly at the screen. It was the same as the morning. But then, she'd done something uncharacteristic. "Ozaki… You'll feel a whole lot better if you just lie down…"

"…I tried to get to sleep." He had given in, and sat down next to her.

"You're bleeding."

"Yeah." He shrugged. "It's not that bad though."

"I'm going to get you something for that." She had gone to the bathroom. He'd half expected her to bring a wine-glass.

Instead, she'd gotten him a first aid kit. It was _strange, _for lack of a better word. He was the doctor; so naturally, she had to be the patient. Was it pity that drove her now? She disinfected his cut, and had applied a large bandage to it.

"…Thanks."

She nodded. "Seishin would have been mad, if you dripped all over his carpets." She offered him the remote. "There's some sort of satire program on channel 11."

"Is he super-protective of them?" He'd taken the control from her, grateful for the newfound source of attention.

"Not really. He just hates blood." She shrugged. "Actually, do you just want to watch a movie?"

He almost laughed. "He's jinrou, and dislikes blood?"

"Just the concept."

He frowned. "What?"

She slid her phone open. There was apparently a new text message. "Oh. Look. Seishin has a new ear-piercing… Or three. Apparently he pierced his ear three times." She passed her phone to him; showing him how to scroll through the pictures.

"…And he doesn't have time to come home?" He picked up the package of cigarettes he'd left on the coffee-table earlier, and offered one to her.

"That's not exactly fair, Ozaki." She refused the cigarettes.

"I know…" He tossed the pack of cigarettes aside. "He really got his ear pierced?"

"Three times." She tapped the phone's screen with her fingernails. "The silver one doesn't look so bad…"

He sighed. "You don't like them either?"

She shrugged. "I don't _love_ them." She'd given him an electronic smile anyways, and told him that they were nice. "Do you want to add anything?"

"…I didn't expect this from Seishin…"

Sunako slid the phone shut. "What part of _this_ did you not expect?"

"I don't know… I just didn't think Seishin was… You know…"

"Then, you didn't know Seishin at all."

He scrolled through the list of available movies. "...'s not fair."

"What _do _you know about him?"

"His favorite color's light pink… And… He was born in the summer— "

She interrupted Toshio. "And you didn't know about his sexual preferences?"

"That's…"

"It wasn't like he could just tell you, anyways… What would _you _have done about it?"

He flinched. "Seishin said the same thing…"

She gave him a small pat on the back; though her hands were icy. The body had not had a beating heart for a while. "Ozaki… I'm not trying to hurt you…"

"Now, that's a first." He gave in, and lay down, his head on her lap. "Kirishiki... How did _you _get so close to him?"

She stroked his hair. "You say that like it's a bad thing."

"…Initially, I thought it was…" He hesitated. "…But… You're not…"

"Inhuman?" She giggled. "In which case, you're wrong."

"…No… Well… Yes… But… No."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"That… I'm confused..."

"We both know that, Ozaki." She was struck by sudden curiosity. Her fingers went to the permanent stubble on his chin, and began to stroke it.

"Kirishiki... What are you…?" He squeezed his eyes shut.

"…Seishin said something about kissing it… Or wanting to kiss it…" She continued to rub in small circles.

"He's kissed it before…"

"Yesterday doesn't count."

"No… That one time I came here with my roommate. He drove me back, and kissed me. In Rochester… Not Duluth."

She sighed. "And you didn't think about it?"

"I didn't think anything of it then…"

"… You're probably the most oblivious guy I know."

"Am I?"

"You still haven't said anything about me stroking your stubble."

His hands were on top of hers. "It's just really weird. I mean… It feels weird."

"Oh… Should I stop…?" She removed her hands from his chin.

"I didn't say that it was bad…" He shrugged. "… Seishin was allowed to cut his dad's hair when he was younger…"

"I think you'd look _better_ with a haircut." She began laughing again. "It's kind of unkempt in the back."

"Seishin thinks its fine…" He muttered.

"You should have seen Seishin's entire biker look thing… That was pretty terrible…"

"What?"

"With a beanie and everything!"

"I can't imagine that…" He gave her a smile. "Next, you're going to tell me that he takes an hour to get ready in the mornings…"

"Actually…"

"…Damn… I really screwed this one up, didn't I…?"

She shrugged. "You'll find something. You always do, don't you?"

"I'm not that confident…"

"…He's still in love with you, Ozaki."

"… That sort of makes me happy." Her hands stopped the circular motions. "I'm not sure if that means that I'm extremely selfish… Or…" He sighed, fumbling for an answer.

"… You're selling yourself short again."

"What do _you _think, then?"

"You should go to bed." Her hands were in his hair again. "I think that you're tired. And you've had a long day."

"…Kirishiki..."

"I'll be here until you wake up."

"…Promise?" Was it Seishin's absence that had made him so dependent on Sunako?

"…_Yes." _But, he was already fast asleep.


	20. Aside: The Things We Leave Behind

A\N: I'm going to… Semi-Hiatus time. I've got college applications. Eleven of them. And I'm only done-ish with four. So, I will have sparse updates until the end of November, probably. + I need to get back to having an A in Spanish. Sorry for the inconvenience. Dedicated to a little leprechaun-bumblebee who is lesbian, but not for me.

He wasn't quite sure he saw it. He'd thoroughly examined himself in the mirror. What had Seishin found so attractive. He wasn't ugly. But, he'd always considered Mikiyasu to be better-looking. Less unkempt. He wasn't too charismatic either; no, that was Sunako, or perhaps Tatsumi.

Was it because he was the only option? He frowned. That didn't seem like Seishin. He sighed. But, did he actually _know _Seishin.

He casually flipped the cellphone out of his pocket. He _was _desperate.

He held his breath. One ring. Two rings. "…Hello?"

"Uh… Hi…"

"Toshio? Where are you, man? Our apartment was done with the fumigation stuff _ages _ago." He'd heard the other man smile. "Did you get lost?"

"…I'm actually staying over at a friend's…" He narrowed his eyes. He was getting off topic. "Actually… I had a question…"

"Okay. Shoot."

"What?"

"It's an expression." He heard a sigh. "You sound really tense."

"…Yeah… Um… Uh… This is kind of hard…" He rubbed the back of his neck. "…Hey… You wouldn't happen to find me… _attractive, _would you?"

"Dude…!" His roommate was laughing. "You're not actually serious, are you? 'Cause I'm kind of in a relationship."

He flushed red. "One of my friends… Actually…" He took a deep breath. "He kind of… what do you call it…? He uh… confessed to me?"

"This friend wouldn't happen to be the cute platinum-haired one, would he?"

"…That's… How… did you know?"

"He was making bedroom eyes at you the entire time. How did you _not _notice?"

He brought his head to his palm. "What?"

"Yeah. It was really cute too." He chuckled a little bit. "Seems like a nice guy."

"…Yeah…" He suddenly felt uncomfortable. "…Listen… We're kind of on bad terms now…"

"He's still into you."

"What?"

"That was your next question, right?"


	21. Kirishiki Sunako Chapter 3: Drift

A\N: For Lady Nightlord. Yes. I feel like hugging Toshio all the time . FOR NERDYBOOKLOVER. "Was it infantile, that which we desired." Now I will let you finish that. And make it not main-stream, because it's on fanfiction. And KEXP. But mostly fanfiction. I apologize for the rest of you who have to read this story and have to put up with my shenanigans. PS. AUTHORS NOTE IS LONGER THAN CHAPTER-/SHOT.

The book was stowed underneath her bed, next to the bottle of Cherbourg filled with paper stars that he had made for her.

It was not yet completed, so it did not belong to the carefully arranged array of paper stars bottles on the balcony. The previous bottle had been turquoise, and the bottle before that had been teal. The logical next choice seemed to be a sky blue color.

She stood over Seishin as he made them.

It was the only time that he'd seemed relatively at ease.

The stars were imperfect. They had jagged edges and wrinkled corners. But they were beautiful, nonetheless.

Perhaps if she had brought Ozaki up to her room, and had let him stand on the melancholy balcony, then he would have understood. Understood that there was nothing left for him.

But the time for such a thing had already passed. He was still filled with the foolish notion that Seishin had not changed.

Perhaps Seishin had not realized it himself, being as fixated on the doctor as he was. But he had grown.

And perhaps that was for the better.


	22. Ozaki Toshio Chapter 9: Headstrong

A\N: Wrote this while listening to the Beirut Concert Livestream 3 Zach Condon really needs to come to Seattle. (Though this is mostly a personal problem, not an Author's Note ^^;;) _"And I, I called through the air that night." _:'U Happy whatever you celebrate. Here's a present. Now you get to anticipate the next portion of the story, and the conclusion that Toshio comes up with. /o/ yaay (*)~

He was staring aimlessly at the ceiling. Homosexual relationships were not his forte. And even if they were… The man upstairs seemed to be much more suave than he was.

They would occasionally laugh (he hadn't heard Seishin laugh before.) They were presumably drinking alcohol (that was what had gotten him into this mess in the first place, wasn't it?) And they were possibly watching that particular movie (though this man had handled that quite differently.) Was the other man going to get on top of Seishin afterwards? He mused with the possibility.

Perhaps he would be with another man the following day. And a different man the day after that. He would walk through the front door with an endless parade of men. But none of the men would be Toshio, because the jinrou had already decided that the doctor was not right for him.

He frowned. Why was he so aggravated? It wasn't like him.

He had considered himself more attractive than this man (he had even made a scale of relative handsomeness.) And he was obviously more successful (well yes, he was a doctor.)

There it was again. The misplaced jealousy. Why _did _he care so much? Seishin's relationships did not concern him. The jinrou had said that himself.

There seemed to be no way to pry Seishin from this man's arms. What was he going to say? _"I had a dream about you." _ It was weak, even if it was true. And he was far too old to be having those particular kinds of dreams.

He muffled a yawn. Thinking about his current position was exhausting. Despite what his roommate had said, he had resigned himself to the belief that Seishin was not going to want him back. He chewed on the end of his cigarette.

He had been smoking a lot more lately. Why was that? He reasoned it was due to stress. Before he came to Duluth, it was one pack a month. Sometimes he could stretch the pack out to two months. But the trash can underneath the sink was littered with empty packages, the two ashtrays filled with cigarette butts.

Seishin hadn't said anything about them.

He heard a heavy object being dragged across the upstairs hallway. "Is everything okay?"

No response.

Toshio tried a second time. "Is everything okay?"

There was silence. The dragging had stopped. And then there was giggling.

"Pfff. He probably thinks I'm dragging you across the carpet, Seishin."

"… You make it sound like you haven't done that before." He pictured Seishin adjusting his glasses.

"You were totally willing at the time."

"And quite intoxicated."

Toshio repeated his question a third time. "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah. We're fine. Seishin likes it rough, anyways." He was probably smirking. Bastard. Toshio had gotten off the couch at that remark.

"Andy…?" Ten stairs left.

He continued, despite Seishin's objection. "… But if it's too much of a problem, we can always head back to my place…" He grabbed the man by the collar.

"Don't touch Seishin!"

He was calm, despite being held in place at an awkward angle. "Why does it matter. To you, I mean?"

Toshio was at a loss for words. "…We're friends."

"Right. And we're dating. So there really isn't any conflict, is there?"

"Dat… ing?" He felt nauseous. "You're dating?"

"Yes. Now, will you let go?" He frowned. "I have a date to finish."

"… Right." He released the man. "… Sorry... I didn't…"

"Damn straight. C'mon Seishin. Let's go to a hotel." Seishin's date took his hand. And left.

Toshio was left with his thoughts. Seishin was dating. Dating another man. Someone other than him. He had confessed to Toshio. But he was dating someone else.

But the other man was right. Why did it matter to him? He wasn't contending for Seishin's affections, was he?


	23. Muroi Seishin Chapter 8: Seasons

A\N: Spoiler Alert: The lyrics go "Thoughts still buried in time, we were closer then, I may drift a while." :' feel free to be hipster enough to pick up on those lyrics … ;; yeah. BEIRUT LYRIC REVIEWS = FASTER CHAPTERS. They make me feel less alone. Um, there are about only three chapters left anyways. Yeah.

He picked at a loose thread on the elbow of his sweater. Toshio was behind him, practically breathing down his neck. He had been angrily staring at him for the past hour and a half.

Seishin was perplexed. He had assumed that Toshio was hungry, and set a plate of pancakes down in front of him. The pancakes remained untouched, and Toshio's expression had not changed. If anything he seemed angrier.

He had come home to a broken window and a maimed couch. Toshio had collapsed on the floor, Cherbourg over his clothes. _What had he been doing? _

The jinrou had returned to playing with the loose thread.

"That… That can't be fun, can it?"

Seishin narrowed his eyes.

"Can I sit here?"

He moved over in response.

"… Uh… Thanks."

A nod.

"... How was your date yesterday?"

Seishin shook his head. "I didn't go on one."

Toshio gave him a lame laugh. "Did you break up with him already?"

"Toshio… He's my editor. We're just friends."

"…What?" He frowned.

"... You seemed upset yesterday." Seishin gestured to the leftovers from the previous night.

He sighed, and put an arm around Seishin, inadvertently drawing him closer to him.

"… What are you…?" He squeezed his eyes shut.

"Sorry…"

He broke out of Toshio's grasp.

"You're not going to move, are you?"

There was a thoughtful silence. Then, "… No."

The doctor laughed a little. "That's good."

He suddenly lost the desire to talk. Or perhaps he had never had it. Toshio was largely unreceptive. He had always been that way. The letters he had sent from medical school seemed to be packed with empty questions. _"How are you? Is everything okay?" _

In Sotoba, nothing ever changed.

_How is the wife? _But he wasn't that undignified. Instead, he sat and waited for Toshio to converse with himself.

But he didn't. Instead he turned the television set on, and flipped to a highly inconsequential station. Hysterical women were screaming at a supposedly handsome doctor.

It was strange. He was sitting in a room for Toshio, waiting for a problem to resolve itself. In his defense, the problems had _seemed _to disappear before. He would smile and nod for a bit, and then Toshio would leave. The nausea would confine itself to his wrist. He was fine with that. It was possible to shield his wrist underneath the inky kimono.

There was just a watch on top of the scar now.

He realized he was going to have to speak. Toshio was contemplating something.

He cleared his throat. "… I… slept with your wife."

The other man put his arm around him once more. "I know."

"… Sorry."

"Don't apologize." It seemed like a command.

Seishin refrained from saying anything else.

"… Damn. I don't have people skills, do I?"

"…"

"Anyway, Kyouko told me. She sounded rather pleased with herself." Toshio shrugged. "I don't think I care anymore."

"…Sorry."

"… I thought I told you to stop apologizing." He sighed. "Hey Seishin, can I ask you a question?"

"… You already did." It was a terrible joke.

Toshio looked mildly irritated. "… Right." He ran a hand through his hair. "… There's this guy…"

"Tell him that you're not interested."

He sighed. "No… I am interested… I think…"

"Toshio… Don't jump into things…"

He waved away Seishin's concern. "I won't. Besides, you're pretty patient, aren't you?"

"Toshio… I don't want a pity-date."

The doctor pulled the jinrou closer to his body. "It's not…"

"…"

He brushed Seishin's hair back, and leaned inward. His face was red, and his eyes were closed.

The jinrou was confused.

"Sorry." _Was it supposed to be a kiss? _

"Don't push yourself too hard."


End file.
